I’m Still Here: Catching Up

As everyone probably may have noticed, I haven’t been posting all my usual nonsense, stories and pictures. Not even my quick studies of the Havamal has made an appearance. I have a few stolen minutes to myself right now and decided that I am going to use them wisely.

I think the last major post I wrote was about the camp out with other kindreds and pagans a few weeks back. I also expressed my feelings towards a certain individual and his views that he also wrote in an article. Now, I did want to quit all together being an initiate to the kindred but decided that person’s views, whatever they may be about ‘newbies’ is something that isn’t really hurting me but rather showing his true character.

Then there was the job interview. I nailed the phone and the first interview and made it to the second interview. I must have done or said something that made me completely BOMB it. I had plans that Friday to head out of town for the camping trip and made special arrangments so I could make the interview. WEEKS later I got a letter in the mail informing me that I didn’t get the job. This could’ve been summed up in an email or even a voicemail. I left the interview knowing that I didn’t get the job…it was a feeling which I completely nailed (always trust your instincts y’all). That night, heading out to the camping destination, not getting the job was the topic of most of my conversations. I felt like no one was going to EVER hire me until I got a FB message from a friend. He’s opening a tattoo shop and wanted to know if I wanted an apprenticeship. I nearly screamed everyone out of the car! I have always wanted to tattoo and he’s going to give me a chance to learn and become a tattoo artist. A dream I’ve had since I was young. I grew up in tattoo shops and my dad always said that I would make a great tattoo artist. I will need to figure out some scheduling issues but I’m all in!

I also have a friend. I know that sounds childish to say but she is awesome and from the kindred. She doesn’t judge and has been coming over to the house almost every weekend to hang out and paint. We talk and text. For those that have been reading my blog understand that I don’t have friends or like being sociable. Baby steps, right? We have been practicing acrylic pour paintings and I have even worked out a deal to have a gallery wall at the local coffee shop to see if any of them will sell. She’s a much needed positive influence that is also creative helping me to keep going.

And then there are my newest members of my family. The kids are growing up so fast and one already has one foot out the door. I never understood what empty nest meant until the kiddos started to plan their lives. I’m super happy for them but also incredibly sad because they aren’t going to need me anymore or have my watchful eye. UGH! So the ball python is Delphi. She isn’t eating for me yet and growing a little concerned but going to give it another week and try again. The other little guy is a leopard gecko which I think will also turn into a breeding project. I think it’s a male but need to wait for him to get a little older before I’m 100% sure. When I have his/her gender that’s when I’ll give it a name. He’s so fun to watch!

I think I’ve gotten all caught up on the MAJOR news in my life or what is important to me (that I can remember). I have massive emails to catch up on, editing and posting pictures, and writing. I didn’t exactly understand what the overtime was doing to my schedule but stolen moments can be utilized. My time is up for the night so happy Monday Y’all! This felt good 🙂

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Once Bitten

Yesterday I opened my email and seen that the job posting site I use recommended two jobs. Still, a little shaken (you know the whole once bitten, twice shy scenario) I reluctantly clicked the ‘apply’ button. Then I started remembering my interaction with the last interviewer. I remember feeling like I was less than the person interviewing me. Was I imagining it? Probably. But there was this air around her that she thought she was better than me because she was interviewing me. Her actions, the way she acted bored, how she didn’t shake my hand. All in my head? Maybe. But this is what I do. I overthink EVERYTHING about ANYTHING. It’s like a piece of gum. I chew all the flavor out of it then make everything worse by sticking it in my hair.

My interview is next week. I’m going to dress comfortable but not so casual that I look like I’m just going to the mailbox. I’m going to try and make it as comfortable for me to sit there. I’m going to remember that Facebook ads can only be 20% text and I’m going to remember what a damn pixel is. I’m going to be confident and I’m going to be me. I think my problem was last time was I was pretending to be someone like my interviewer. I’m not better than anyone else. The last interviewer felt cold and decided when first meeting me that she didn’t like me. Still, probably all in my head.

So, YAY! Friday! YAY! Interview. The weekend is going to be full of class work and planning (looks like we have snow moving in meaning I’m not leaving my house). Happy Friday everyone!

6 Word Story: 7/17

Hands are simply appendages that extend our actions and feelings in a physical form. If you want to know what a person’s life was like just pay attention to their hands. Did they save lives? Did they have a physical job? Are they married? Are they artists or writers?


Prompt Word: Hands

May 18th

I haven’t done a journal entry in a while. Today I woke up and took my walk and instead of telling myself that all the hard work will pay off it came out, ‘what the hell’s the point?’ I was being awful to myself. Getting to work, drinking coffee, and completing my daily tasks then my nemesis came into the art room. Believe me when I say I would much rather eat glass then help her with ANYTHING but that’s not being an adult (which is a BS by the way) so I helped her.

Having to deal with that and already being hard on myself I decided to take the rest of the day off. I SO wanted to come home and lay in bed. I pulled into the driveway and even headed to my room when I remembered that I needed another watercolor journal. I couldn’t do tonight’s challenge without one. Do I go to bed and fall into the depressive state that my mind needed or shop for my journal that my soul needed?

Next thing I know I’m in the art supply store. I felt better with my journal in hand but was stopped by a sale on a travel case of Winsor & Newton cake palette of 14. ‘You can’t afford to travel anywhere why in the hell do you need those?!’ That’s what I heard in my head. Then I told myself I don’t need to travel far just get out and paint. I am now the proud owner of new travel paints and smaller travel book (50% off I wasn’t going to pass).

Got home, cleaned up, cooked dinner, and got an amazing surprise. A fellow blogger honored me with, ‘Nice job, you’ve obtained this week’s GOLD badge!’ Talk about the boost I needed to keep going this afternoon. Matthew over at Normal Happenings is the positive breath of fresh air that I needed. Wander through his proverbial blog stacks and get lost. He’s also a fellow graphic designer which explains my draw to his newspaper style font.

I still feel like I want to crawl into bed and that’s ok too. I’m not pretending that everything is fine but I know that things will get better. Have a great evening ya’ll.

PAIN-ting

To make a long story short (which is difficult being both southern and Irish) I was placed on the floor at work today. Being that my back is killing me so much so that I’m dependent on the meeting pad,  it’s difficult to paint, sketch,  and write. Hopefully tomorrow not only can I go to work but also resume my artistic expressions. P.S. I don’t like doing this from my phone. Have a great night everyone.

Quote of the Day

I’m only here for the food…and I’m on a diet!

I said this today because too many people were asking me to do so many things when I only have two hands. My anxiety was through the roof by 7:30 am this morning and I had to make a point. Part of the quote came from a movie, ‘Ever After’ and I still enjoy watching it.

March 10th, 2018

It’s been a hell of a week. I can take the stress of deadlines and last minute projects because they are few and far between until this past week. On a good work week, my workload will average between 20 and 40 color-up requests. That does not include getting orders ready to be printed. This week I managed 152 color-up requests, an emergency banner (that needed to be completed within 8 hours to make the printer deadline) and an emergency handout that needed to be printed and ready to go within 24 hours. Then there was the imprint work for uniforms, approval forms, and they also needed me on the floor to help print.

Understand, I was a blue collar worker before my graphic design job. I was raised by a roughneck oil field worker. He taught me that nothing in this world is free and if I want something I have to work for it. So, I worked hard in college while working two jobs, three kids, a house to run then a divorce from my abuser. I maintained a 4.0 GPA and paid my dues. I worked odd design jobs and internships before landing where I am today. So when they asked me to go on the floor I did just that. I left the floor when I saw that the employees that were supposed to be too busy to print were talking, laughing, drinking coffee and checking phones. I refused to be used like that. I cranked out my order of 160 and went back to cave. There I was met with more work 15 minutes before I was to clock out and leave for the weekend. I decided that I would take my time. I was mentally exhausted to the point I had a headache, eyes were aching, 3 major panic attacks, one crying meltdown, and physical exhaustion. It took everything I had to write my short stories and doodle.

My husband listened to what was going on which helped a lot. He encouraged me to write more after telling him about submissions and what I wanted to do and what I am doing. I realized work was the reason why I was in a funk. I’m looking forward to this weekend. I will be doing some much-needed self-care. I will write, paint, read, and rest.

Random Thread

I feel like I’m barely holding on but by a thread. My only solace today was my 15-minute doodle time which I took waiting for my babies to get out of school.  The whole crap day will probably be a journal post. I’m just waiting for the final outcome.


Random Word: Thread

6 Word Story: 2/12

I kind of like the fact that this prompt comes on a Monday. It seems only fitting (in my mind). I thought I would wake up and tackle the day starting with my writing.


Prompt Word: Small Reminders

Clothes chose, lunch packed, snoozed alarm.

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