Prudence’s Heart

Regency romances are a subgenre of romance novels set during the period of the British Regency (1811–1820) or early 19th century. The distinction rests on the genre definition of Regency Romance: works in the tradition of Georgette Heyer, with an emphasis on the primary romance plot, are considered traditional. I spent many hours doing research and listed links below. I cried at the end of my own story. What I learned with this genre is that there is a lot of research that goes into these fictional stories and have found a new respect for individuals that write in this genre.


My older sister Lucy-Anne and I laid in bed after a long night of dancing and socializing at what was considered the event of the season. Lucy-Anne danced with her fiance and I was introduced to many handsome amiable bachelors. Several calling cards were left for my father, mother, and myself wishing to call upon us for a visit this morning. I was hoping for a card from Ezra. I know that my father didn’t approve of him simply because he didn’t have the same prestige as Lucy-Anne’s soon to be husband. However, I thought being a doctor was quite fascinating. To be able to heal the human body, preventing death, that was the closest relationship with God. What I tried to convey to my father is his hands were tools from God. He had a gift of compassion so he surely must be kind without wanting to impress. Not to mention his choice of employment would always be required. My father disagreed.

Day after day my father received gentlemen who were all of a high social stature and most were handsome. I was endlessly bored listening to how the weather faired or answering about one’s health, and who cared about their kin? I knew what they really hunting, my dowry. It was all a business to them and my family. I was nothing more than chattel. My parents hoped that I marry well, to be best matched with a husband that will further our household. I was handsome, or that’s what my parents would say but the hidden meaning was my female usefulness. I would breed attractive children. I couldn’t play the pianoforte, sing, or sew but I could draw. My family’s only hope for my survival was a proposal of marriage.

My father was approached by the very wealthy and might I add rude Mr. Pembroke. He was the most frequent of my callers and won my father over during their hunting trips. While my father away my mother fussed over my edema. It vexed her so heavily that she called upon my handsome doctor Ezra. The visits started out as once a week. He advised me about my diet, salt intake, and to get as much fresh air and rest as possible. I would confide in him that I had my good days and bad. I expressed that I wished he could see me on my well days. He understood that as seeing me as a patient whereas I wished for him to call upon for other than being my physician. During the course of three months, Ezra would come to see me as a patient whenever my mother called on him or sent a servant to fetch him. I thought we should invite him to stay on our estate so he wouldn’t have to travel so much.

It was close to Christmas when I wasn’t feeling particularly well and I was just betrothed to Mr. Pembroke and our two families were to spend the holidays together. I expressed my ill feeling and wanted to lay down but my father insisted I dress and receive Mr. Pembroke Sr, Mrs. Pembroke, Mr. Pembroke etc…It was as if the entire family line were waiting for the introduction of their soon to be a cash cow or daughter-in-law. We were all sitting in the drawing room when the next thing I remember was waking up on the floor on my back. Such a fuss was being made over me especially by my soon to be mother-in-law. My father gently picked me up and carried me to my room as my mother sent for Ezra.

I laid in bed sweating and feeling ill in my stomach. Ezra arrived when my mother was by my side and a quick introduction was made to the physician and Mr. Pembroke Jr. Ezra walked into the room commanding the room and diligence since my illness has escalated.
‘Am I going to die?’ I managed to whisper as Ezra listened to my heart.
‘Mrs. Worthington, could you please send for a basin was warm water and vinegar. We need to bring Prudence’s fever down. I thought she was suffering from dropsy but I can hear a faint murmur in her heart.’ My mother took off to the kitchen fetching what was needed as this was the hastiest way the ingredients could be attained.

Through the months Ezra and I were able to conversate without a chaperone so I was more intimately comfortable in his confidence than Mr. Pembroke.
‘Ezra, I have a confession.’
‘I know Prudence. My affections for you have always been present. I had asked your father’s permission for your hand in marriage before the ball. He kindly declined, making his intentions of a well-matched marriage known.’
I smiled as I could feel my energy starting to fade.
‘Ezra, say I do start to get well, I don’t want to marry Mr. Pembroke. If we elope my reputation and fortune would be gone. I can be a physician’s wife but could you be happy with someone like me? No fortune, no use other than my drawings.’

My mother came in around that time and began the task of wrapping my feet with vinegar bandages and cooling my body with water. After an hour Ezra sent for Foxglove. My mother went to get fresh water, Mr. Pembroke and my father set out for Foxglove and Ezra and I were alone again.

‘My dear Prudence. I would marry you because of my love for you not for what you can give me.’ He whispered and his warm breath on my ear made it all so real. I place my hand in his. My breaths were shallow now and I knew that I would be alive much longer. I accepted that I was going to die and knowing that he loved me made it both easy and difficult all at the same time. ‘My heart,’ I whispered, ‘I love you with all that I am, til death do we part. Please live a fulfilled life and I will wait for you hereafter.’ With that my life left my body and my hand went limp.
Mrs.Worthington came in to witness Ezra weeping over her daughter and in that moment knew what true love was.


Jo/© thecreativeptsdgal.wordpress.com

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Pirated Photos

Quantum fiction is a literary genre that reflects the modern experience of the material world and reality as influenced by quantum theory and new principles in quantum physics. Ok…I’ve literally sat here for 30 minutes until I had an ‘AHA,’ moment. Then just when I think I have a grasp of this genre it’s gone. Then I had to research quantum science which was no help. I’m not a damn science type of girl. However, quantum fiction stories are about any subject matter and do not necessarily involve science and deals in possibility and probability. So much research went into this story and trying to figure out all the moving pieces in my head.


What came first? The painter or the subject? The camera or the person? I visit so many museums and galleries and sometimes I swear I see the subject matter moving in my peripheral vision. Sometimes I see me, or my brother, or my kindergarten best friend. I’ll ask someone, ‘Did you see that balloon that went around the corner?t’ Or, ‘When did they bring back the Planter’s Cheez Balls?’ The answer was usually a ‘she’s losing it’ and ‘what is she talking about?’

The exact time I learned t ask the questions happened when I was taking a photo of my brother ice skating and I could see my great grandfather skating in the corner of my eye. My brother asked, ‘Sissy, did you get a picture of grampy and me?’ he asked with a 8-year-olds hopeful questioning. ‘What do you mean Rhett?’ ‘Grampy said that in the time from clicking the button up and down you can see him,’ he said in an annoyed tone. He expected me to know this, I could feel it. ‘Oh yeah? If he was only here for a nanosecond how did you tell you all of that?’ I said in a teasing tone. ‘Time is suspended for him. Every time someone takes a picture here he get’s to move forward in time.’ Rhett was ready to go but I was jealous. I wanted to see the past. Imagine, anything that was painted or pictured is attainable. Was it time travel or would it be visiting memories?

I went to the museum in town that was hosting a Pirate exhibition. There I knew there would be a lot of painting and artifacts. I also thought that would be one of the strongest situations for one of my viewing. Or were they hallucinations. Luckily the museum allowed visitors to take photos but only of the artifacts. I walked around the museum taking random photos when I took a picture of a ruby. In the corner of my eye, I saw a red-headed pirate but didn’t hear anything. I continued to walk around and take photos until I saw the red-head again and thought, ‘Who are you?’ and in my head, I heard, ‘Anne Bonny’.  I snapped another picture and was startled by, ‘He’ll never know.’ I went home excited that I was able to hear something.

I did some research on the pirate and possible pregnancy and was able to go back to the museum armed with the knowledge that would be needed to ask questions. I took pictures and listened. I learned that Anne Bonny gave birth to Calico Jacks daughter, was killed by her cowardly first husband, and her daughter was taken to a church to be raised Protestant. I was in tears when I was ready to leave when I wanted to take a picture of me and the artifacts. I went home and thought about what could Anne tell me about me? I went back to the museum and took pictures but it wasn’t Anne that I heard in my head. Calico Jack said that he knew my inner secrets but could also tell my future. Just as I was learning the truth about my past, he could tell me about my future. Did I want to know how I die or if I would be successful? Instead, I asked what I thought would be a safe question, ‘Will I ever have kids?’ I knew I couldn’t because of how my uterus developed. ‘You will experience the same thing I did.’

I stopped taking pictures and rarely went to museums until one day I met my husband at a town parade. He knew that I wasn’t able to have kids and we were in the middle of an adoption process when we found out that I was pregnant. I wanted a home birth where things went horribly wrong. I never got to meet my daughter but I get to see her grow up through pictures. I hope that one day she will take a picture of herself with something of mine so that I would be able to tell her how beautiful she is and that I love her.

 

Jo/© thecreativeptsdgal.wordpress.com

April 18th-Falling from Cloud 9 (Vanity Publishers)

How about a quick catch-up to what I have been achieving with my writing. I took up the A to Z blogging challenge as a way to get me out of a mindset of writing but also to try new genres. Let me tell you that it has been a rollercoaster of emotions and distractions. I have huge plans for some, maybe even all of my shorts super excited to finish the challenge. There is such a great and encouraging community of writers, bloggers, and artists that offer support and I’m thrilled to see that people are actually reading my writing.

So here is how I went from being on cloud 9 to falling back into my world. That isn’t a bad thing don’t get me wrong but this is more of a cautionary tale. I received an email from an individual from a publishing house. I was excited but then became very leary. I did some research and noticed that the person’s email ended in a ‘.com’ and the publisher’s website ended in a ‘.net’. So, I reached out to the company via their Facebook inquiring about the individual that contacted me. I was then informed that indeed the solicitor worked for them and they hoped to get a submission from me. I didn’t quite celebrate but allowed myself to get excited. I should have known better!

I thought maybe the whole company is one of those publishing houses that want you to pay money to submit. So I searched through blogs until I came across a post that talked about VANITY PUBLISHERS (never once did I come across their blog until I went to there website). My heart sank so fast, even my coworker asked if I was ok. ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ I said on the outside but one the inside I felt like a sucker for getting hopeful. The bummed as hell that it wasn’t a real publishing company. Then my husband came through and said, ‘There is still no reason you can’t self-publish. You have some amazing stories. Don’t stop writing because a company tries taking advantage of new writers. You are not a victim because you followed your instincts.’

I’m not saying, ‘Never get excited,’ what I’m encouraging you to do is research something before committing. Please don’t fall for companies like these. I’m going to sulk for a bit then maybe cook dinner when I get off work.

 

January 3rd, 2018

I’m quite please and discouraged all at the same time. How can one mind hold both emotions? Well, apparently mine can. I have been working really hard on my 6 word stories and can’t believe all the revisions and edits made to just 6 words. All the words have a hidden meaning but the story is still transparent. I’m absolutely IN LOVE with the concept. I’m even working on a larger project thanks to only 6 words. The research that I’m putting into 6 words is surprisingly A LOT but I find it worth it. As part of my research I came across a photo that gave nicknames to mental illnesses. Yes the discussion was dated by I was sickened by some of the conversation in which there really wasn’t anything positive or supportive for individuals like myself. Do you name your demons?

I have found time tonight to write a journal entry since my allotted time for my phone therapist session has been cancelled due to scheduling conflicts so I thought how great it would be to catch up my journal. Much better than wallowing in my self-loathing pity party because today was absolute shit. I never realized how clique-y my work environment is until today. How quickly someone passes a blame and me being the person I am just took it! I did however later go back and tell my supervisor what happened and in light of her now knowing in no way was it my fault the damage was done. I owned what little mistakes that I had made but made a point to tell other parties that I do not do the job of everyone else and they need to own up to their part. Then I put my earbuds in and ignored everyone else.

I haven’t started my yoga but have been eating better. I don’t like to be judge and my social anxiety is not managed at all and the journal that my therapist has asked me to keep is filling up fast. But it is helping me not bring so much home. While shopping for healthier foods I received banter from my husband. Usually we joke about these things but this time it stung a little. He knew it did without me having to tell him…good. I’m still trying to figure out the best time for me to unroll my yoga mat…preferably when he’s not home. Small victory though…there were donuts and frosted sugar cookies in the break today-I walked past them!

I was going to paint a little tonight but learned that I need to pick up a few supplies which I plan on doing tomorrow. I have plans to redesign my blog and hopefully get some social media going.  How are your News Years Resolutions going?

 

Wisconsin’s Werewolf

I’m kinda in the mood to write tonight and with it being so close to Halloween I thought it only fitting to fine tune my research skills and get spooky all at the same time.

Werewolf or Lycanthrope

Possibly made popular by recent movies such as Underworld and Twilight (guilty of watching both) and Harry Potter but was introduced to the big screen in 1941’s the ‘The Wolf Man’. The Werewolf is a mainstay with lore enthusiasts and sightings of these mythical (or could possibly be actual) creatures. We all have heard the campfire story about the full moon brings out the Werewolf allowing them to shed their human skin and transform into their hidden furry, fanged self. There are different versions as to what the werewolves do during the full moon but it’s only spectacted. It could be anywhere to finding a mate, creating more wolves, or even do a witches evil bidding but whatever the reason may be the legends of these creatures remain across all regions.

Beast of Bray Road

I have never heard of this but apparently Wisconsin has their very own werewolf and even some sightings. According to some internet research, the first sighting was in 1936. Then more sightings were reported in the 80’s and 90’s and even into our neighboring state of Michigan. A reporter was dispatched to interview witnesses that later turned into a book The Beast of Bray Road: Tailing Wisconsin’s Werewolf by Linda Godfrey. I searched for where did this beast come from and nothing surfaced on the creation but the native tribes in the area have stories of such a beast. From what I gathered the beasts or beasts are hunters and are sighted but not any interaction (such as attacks)

Do I believe that the beast is real. Well, I believe that there is something about but not so much a werewolf more of a large dog/wolf breed yet to be documented or researched.

Your Local Legends

Have you ever really researched any local legends near you? Or have you ever experienced a legend for yourself? Look into it, research it, and make it a part of your story. There are quite a few other legends near me and I’ll research and post more of what I find. Right now–I got to get burgers on the grill.

You’ll Catch the Epizooty!

This is just a fun thing I learned.


When I was growing up my father use to tell me that I would catch the ‘epizooty‘ by putting something in my mouth, touching something or even being around something that could make me sick or get me dirty. Probably something from the Medieval ages that has been eradicated for centuries. All these years I believed that it was just something that he told me to keep him from having to clean up a mess. BOY WAS I WRONG! Today I looked ‘epizooty up and sure as shinola it’s a real thing!

Basically, it’s a disease outbreak in animals! It’s a real thing-just wanted to point that out again. I wish I could tell him what I found but I’m sure he’s laughing at me from beyond saying, ‘See-TOLD YOU SO!’ What this little exercise did for me was help me learn to research and cite (which is probably wrong).  What were some things that your parents said to you to keep you from doing something? Was there and old wive’s tale or a ghost story? Or some disease that you thought was made up? Let me know.


“Epizootic.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 9 Sept. 2017, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epizootic. Accessed 12 Sept. 2017.

“Epizooty.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, www.dictionary.com/browse/epizooties. Accessed 12 Sept. 2017.

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