Productive 1st Week

I can’t begin to say how proud of myself that I am with the first week of the year. Unfortunately, I may not be able to keep to the schedule today due to outside obligations. This morning, I got up early and read the book that the kindred is covering for the book club meeting. Heroes of Asgard is a short book and easy read because I’ve heard these stories and variations from different sources. The Kindred is also supporting each other in their healthy choice of lifestyle. I’ve already been working with Weight Watchers and decided to participate to help lose the pesky 20lbs that just can’t be dropped. For this week I’ve participated in and accomplished the necessary goals with the kindred and learning journey not to mention my own personal (not daily) study of the Havamal. Oh, I even did my time on the treadmill.

The 365-Day project has been awesome and shitty all at the same time. I can take an awesome picture one minute and WTH was that photo the next. The Skillshare class helped a great deal and I have a couple more that I want to watch. The best part is that they are all short and cut right to the chase so I can learn, try, and grow through a swift transition. Trying to remember all the tips and tricks is what I need to try harder at. Maybe making my own notes or flashcards to carry will help like little-reminding nods. I think my favorite photo is from day 4. The puddle experiment was scary to try but I’m glad I did. I’m glad I stepped out of the car. I have a horrible feeling that today’s photo won’t be all that great because of the events I have happening today.

The short story that I wrote made me feel good. It was great to write something other than the journal entries, weighing-in, or Havamal study. I already have an idea for the next one and hope that I can keep it short.

My comic…Oh my! All I can say is that the app I found took longer for me to draw with than doing it by hand. My goal was a simple stick figure comic to bring a little chuckle but it was lacking. I can either watch the tutorials or go balls deep and do it by hand. If I’m going to do that I need to stop by the store and either get a small sketchbook or a grid composition. I did find my Wacom tablet and pen in the garage so I’ll try my next one with that.

How did your first week of working towards goals pan out for you?  I’m going to work damn hard on making sure I get a photo for my 365-Day project. Happy Sunday everyone.

 

Monday…Already?

I only failed at one goal I had set this weekend. I beat myself up for only a bit when I realized that it’s ok. I wanted to create another video on Saturday…Sassy Saturday, trying to quickly recap the week but that didn’t happen. Those adults that actually use the weekend to relax are effing UNICORNS! Or I’m doing life all wrong. I think it’s because I waste 40 hours a week at a job. Oh, and the kids! Too good to walk ANYWHERE and always needing rides. Or the fact that NO ONE in the house can put a meal together to save their lives. This feels more like a rant…moving on. Saturday…I did adult things like errands. Oh, I also set up a payment arrangement for default student loans that I can’t afford and cried into the AWESOME ooey gooey triple chocolate brownies. If that’s not adulting at its finest I don’t know what is.

I wanted to do something to relax, a way to zone out my adult problems so I tried my hand at something new…woodburning. I saw these CUTE little Norse Yule ornaments but I couldn’t afford the prices because I wanted ALL of them. It also felt personal for me to make these. What I learned…don’t use cheap wood discs that are prepackaged at the local big box store. And that with that revelation…I needed more wooden discs! Y’all, this was so relaxing and I was so EXCITED to see that it didn’t turn out to be a HUGE fail.

I was also able to squeeze in a kindred’s book club meeting yesterday and happy that the next book is actually a free one. Perfect for my holiday budget 😁. I have some reading to do, wood to find, and a Yule Goat to make. The goat will be for another post. I’m sure after watching how-to videos it’s going to be a mess. Happy Monday everyone!

Oh My Doodles

I didn’t forget to doodle. I forgot to post doodles. Even though the kids had plans our life kind of revolved around those plans. In doing so, I lost my photography natural light for my painting. Breath in, breath out, it’s all ok.


February 13th, 2018

Caved, I Did

So I have set a goal to finish a list of books this year (here’s the list) and wasn’t going to finish a series until I read the first book of each one and other books on the list. I also didn’t want to use a Kindle or audiobook. Confession-I fucking caved! I had just finished ‘Cinder’ and was going to start ‘Jane Eyre’. I usually read at night when a flashback hits. But I learned something about myself that I didn’t think was possible. In my head, I read to relax but it’s hard for me to relax into a book when I’m on edge trying to come down from a night terror state, constantly looking out the window and checking door locks.

I was able to re-read the first chapter 3 times before I even began to understand some basic characters. Instead of giving up on my goal of getting through the list and quitting (which is something that is easy for me to do…you know the whole fight or flight thing. I’m a frequent flyer when needed) I found an audiobook app that doesn’t cost anything (YAY keeping on budget) and I am in LOVE with this book now.

Having the capability to put my earbuds in and listening to soothing voices of characters all drowning out stress from my surroundings was a comfort. I’m on chapter 10 already and can’t wait for the next.

So yes, I caved but why am I so hard on myself? I had set a goal and it doesn’t matter how I get there just as long as I do…safely and with me intact. Goals are supposed to be rewarding and challenging, and when completed satisfying to better one’s self. I’m here saying it was OK for me to cave and get the audiobook. It’s ok…it’s ok…it’s ok. ‘You didn’t fail, you found a solution!

Instead of painting tonight, I updated my reading journal and feel super relaxed after doing a heinous sketch (I can say that because I need more practice).

February 8th into the 9th

I started this post at 11:30 tonight as I needed time to myself to get certain thoughts and ideas out of the way or in the way. I have been reading every day and last night I finished ‘Cinder’. I want to go to the next book in the series but since my book list is extensive for me to even attempt for this year I, not possible. As I stated before that I will read the first book in the series and then make notes and move to the next on my list. When I have completed my list I will then go back and start the next in the series.

My husband set up a table in the dining area and I have my laptop, art supplies, notebooks, charging station and all that good stuff set up. I kind of feel bad that I haven’t used it much this week but it’s been rough.

Work

So for the past few months and more recently the past couple of weeks ‘Bob’ the guy that I work with has been really oppressive, entitled, and really hates the fact that I’m a female with certain knowledge that he doesn’t possess which leads to him pushing the fact that he is a man and is always right with me. I know what a brow beater is and I know what gaslighting is…I was married to it for years. I also know that I’m not his personal secretary. The straw that broke ‘my’ back was his friend, another colleague had asked me to do some artwork for him for a shirt. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he was taking my art to another company to finish his product and not with ours. I told him how much I charge an hour and to sum it up, my talent is worth the fee but I still need to do it. WTF!? I left crying from all the stress from those two men. I couldn’t enjoy being home or my kids.

The next day I went to work and waited for about two hours before approaching my managing supervisor. He listened…now whether or not I’ll be fired is still up in the air because we all know how that situation ends. The man is always right…from my experience and how many times I was let down by law enforcement seeking safety and justice from my ex. So that is to be continued as the two men have a different supervisor and so there was a meeting of the supervisors (also men) and I’m feeling pretty confident that I’m going to be ‘let go’ for some oddball reason. Back up plan you ask? Not a fucking clue. I could freelance, I could try to find another job in my field, or I could just hide in my closet.

My Goals

Even though this week has been absolutely horrid here are the things that I have completed: Finished a book, did some sketching, kept up with my short fiction stories (barely) took a shower. All of those are accomplishments no matter how small. I sketched my character out (I want to start a comic journal of sorts. I need to work on simplifying my character and sketch my puppy a character fitting to her.) and hope to include her on my blog. I also have been keeping up with my reading journal. My thoughts on Cinder: I couldn’t read it fast enough, well written, very freakin’ creative, used it as a great escape from my reality, and guessed who the main character really was. My shower was cleansing in more ways than one. I was able to cry out some bottled feelings and I almost feel like myself again. My next book is either going to be Macbeth or one of the longer ones. Something that will take me more than a week to read and more difficult. I am proud of myself for refusing to get an audiobook and a pack of cigarettes. Now if only I could lose some of this weight.

Like most things in my life…to be continued.

 

 

January 30th, 2018

New Goal

I was sitting at work today with no work to do and decided to see if February’s #6WordsBetter prompt list had been posted. I was excited to see that it was! Then I decided to snoop through that pages recent posts and stumbled across a ‘reading journal’ post. What the? I would have never thought in a MILLION years that this was something that could be journaled. Earlier today I was on BUZZFEED and found a link to different lists of books that you should read. I was perusing the list and found that I must be living under a rock. NO! WAIT! I was working two jobs, seven days a week and before that, I read but can’t remember thanks to C-PTSD. But the list helped me choose some books.

SO-I set a goal I didn’t even know I wanted…READ MORE! I already have plans this weekend to get back into watercolor painting and doing some doodling and decided what the hell?! I can make a reading journal/log of my own. I have time. Now I already built my list and wanted to start reading but I will either leave it to be done before bed so my stomach will settle down (I hope I’m not coming down with something) or wait to go to the library and get a book. I could get online and start right away but I’m not feeling good and want the satisfaction of actually turning the page.

So, I’m going to update my agenda book with February’s prompt words and try and figure out where to start on my list. To be a good writer reading is a must. To hone an artistic skill practice make it better. Have you thought about doing something new or picking something back up? I encourage you to do so. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT IS.

Here’s my list in case you would like to see what I’m going to tackle.

 

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