I promised myself that I would add better quality paints, inks, pens, etc…little by little. Yesterday before sitting down and working on a longer short story I wanted to purchase a better quality gel pen. I have been working with cheaper quality and it showed in my art. I really wanted a white gel to gain better highlighting details. So, I did just that. The really good white gel pen was in a locked case so I went with the second recommendation that I received-the Gelly Roll. I am in LOVE with the pigment and water resistance.
I watched movies with my husband last night so I didn’t do much else. But this morning, I woke up and realized daylight savings time occurred while we slept so I rushed to get ready and do the weekly grocery trip. Even though I was early I ran into a LOT of old customers from my bartending jobs. I heard about how much they missed me, that I needed to return to clean out the bar and get better people in there, that the whole town suffered…the list goes on. All that did was stress me out. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there but I had to finish the marketing. I did and I also forgot some things which I will send my husband to get. I was anxious and on the verge of a panic attack. I came home and cleaned out my writing/art area because my kids just can’t understand that it’s my safe space but they’ll get there. Now that I rambled on about my CPTSD and how my flight overran my fight here’s something I did to help calm me and get me back to a healthy frame of mind.
This is a watercolor Strawberry Finch. Fun fact, I have finches next to my desk because their songs help me relax.
The supplies I used:
- 140lb cold press (it’s a journal and I’m not ready to move to large projects plus I like the texture of the paper which is also soothing for me to hear the brush against)
- Gelly Roll gel pen (white)
- Faber-Castell pen (fine point black ink)
- Indian Ink (still learning to play with the ink)
- Watercolors (right now Daler and Rowney tubes-they’re affordable for me at the moment)
- Brush Pens (cheap and learned they don’t work well on wet paper)
I want to attempt a colorful rooster and something fluffy but that’s for a different day. Completing this small bird was an accomplishment for me. I was able to relax and focus. My heart rate slowed and my mind wasn’t overthinking anything. It was my self-care. I took time to do something that made me feel better.
What is your outlet to calm down or something that you do for your self-care? Don’t feel guilty. I’m still learning not to feel guilty and not to give too much of myself because there isn’t anything left for me.