6 Word Story: 7/4

Last night, with the TV, turned up a little, AC running for background noise, the dogs and handled fireworks quite well. I took my walk this morning feeling nothing of the anxiety attack from yesterday. The prompts can be found here.

Prompt Word: Light


6 Word Story: 5/23

I tend to laugh at what is considered a heat wave up here. This morning the news said that there was a heat wave moving in and it will get in the lower 80’s. My husband asked what I was laughing at and when I pointed at the TV he laughed as he is from the south as well. 80° back home is considered spring. I do feel more peaceful when the sun is out. A quiet spot to sit in the warming rays tends to calm the doubts I have yelling in my head.

Prompt Word: Heat Wave

6 Word Story: 5/19

I woke up in a better mood even after a nightmare. Those are different from my flashback dreams and terrors. This was the product of watching too many crime shows. I did manage to wake up to see the beginning of the royal wedding. I really wanted to see if it was supposed to rain all day. Rainy days and watercolor painting outside don’t really go hand in hand. I may have to work from reference photos…or possibly sitting in the car?

Prompt Word: Artist’s Eye


Searching for Light

This morning walk to work was supposed to be mundane. I knew the route by heart. I was looking down at my phone with earbuds in walking to work when I was abruptly stopped by someone grabbing my shoulder. I jerked my head up only to see the chaos that he had observed. I should’ve been paying attention. I was afraid to take out the noise canceling buds. Did I want to hear the screams and panic in people’s voices? No, but I needed to. I needed to hear any information about what was going on around us.

The stranger kept his hand on my shoulder as if to tell me not to move. What did he see that I didn’t? What did he know that no one else knew or having the painful experience of learning on their own? Or it sounded painful. There wasn’t any smoke or mechanical sounds so it wasn’t an army of strangers rolling through, setting buildings on fire in their wake. There wasn’t any snow, rain, or dark clouds for that matter which allowed me to conclude that it wasn’t an act of mother nature.

I finally looked at the stranger and he held his index finger up to his lips tell me to ‘shh’ without making a sound. He pointed above his head for me to look up and that’s when I saw a beam, like a laser light used to play with cats. Only this light was blue and I watched it lurk bending around objects. It could bend? The strangers motioned for me to follow him where he led me to stand underneath a neon sign.

‘What is going on?’ is all I could manage at the time.
‘As long as you are near a light it won’t melt your brain stem.’
He said it so matter-of-factly that it made me uncomfortable to be near him. How would he know what it does? I started to look for the nearest light path to take to get to the subway. The lights were bright and always on because it’s dark. I could ride the sub out of town.
‘How do you know what the light does?’
‘Because I created it. It was actually supposed to be used to seek and destroy cancer cells but instead, the military had other plans for it. They reprogrammed it to hone in on human voices, specifically certain dialects, and gently put them down. The beam has been manufactured to be the ultimate weapon. Imagine, no soldiers on the field, in the air, or at sea. Just a program launched and shuts off when it has completed a task.’
‘Can’t you shut it off?’ I asked in surprise. How come has he not logged on or whatever, and shut down the program?
‘It has now been programmed to terminate, well me. Until I can get to my lab’s computer it is attacking everyone with an English dialect. Unfortunately, when they programmed it to try and hone in on me the military didn’t have my voice pattern and with a few wrong letters and symbols the beam now kills everyone that can speak English.’
‘How did you know about hiding in lights?’ I asked.
‘I created the program to have a hidden safety feature.’
‘What about the subway? It’s always lit up because the tunnels are dark and we can travel to the closest station to your lab. From there we’ll have to figure something out.’
He grinned. ‘We can take the sub to the Upper East Side, wait until dark, and travel to the botanical garden at night. It’s beautifully lit at night. I can see it from my office window.’ We had a plan in motion.

Now to get to the subway’s entrance, 50 feet away.

Jo/© thecreativeptsdgal.wordpress.com

August 29th, 2017

Finding Comfort

With money being tight after shopping for school supplies and clothes for three kids I’ve had to become resourceful with dinners and what’s left of our funds until payday. I’ve made oven fried chicken, jambalaya, hamburger vegetable stew and tonight something with ground chicken. It can be a little stressful trying to make ends meet when they are no where near a mile within each other but it is what it is. I can write about all the ways to have a better stocked pantry or buying on a budget or better financial health but I’ll leave that to the experts. What I can tell you is the amazing amount of comfort that I have found in cooking.

Working two jobs and spending time away from my family hasn’t done my mental health any good either and has even made me feel worse-like a failure. I can’t tell you how many times I have picked up my sketchbook and pencils and what little motivation I had to even do that only to put them back down. This is my depression, my ever constant steadfast companion holding my hand and reminding me of a darkness that is always next to me.

There are times that I find light and it comes in my son’s voice asking me what’s for dinner. The look on his face, trusting. This look reminds me that I can’t give in or give up and a basic need he has, he trusts that I won’t let him down. We both make a decision about what we will turn a few ingredients from the cupboard and freezer into a meal. There is my comfort. My light through the darkness. It may sound small and trivial to some but to me it’s my light. I’m able to provide as a mother to my son. This is where I turn my back on my companion and with every stroke of the knife against the vegetable and stir of the protein in the pan and the voice of my son, ‘Mommy that smells awesome!’ is a step away from my dark guiding friend.

Have you thought about what brings you comfort and light away from the darkness? I would love to hear.

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