A Heathen Learning Experience

When my family and I headed out with another kindred member for a two-hour road trip, we didn’t know what to think. The member that rode with us has stayed at the camp a couple times before so he was telling us about how much land there was and how it was donated for pagan groups to have a safe place to practice.

We arrived and it was exactly like I was hoping it would be. I only had one bar of reception which was enough for my girls to get a hold of me if needed. It was quiet, calm, and an overall relaxing experience. No, I didn’t get time to draw or anything and kept pretty busy. Now, with my social anxiety, I wasn’t prepared to go out and be a social butterfly but I did talk to people. Saturday, I made pancakes for everyone (I’m most at home in a kitchen) and made sure the kiddos had breakfast first. Other heathen believers from other kindreds came for the meeting and that’s when I learned (quickly) that there are people that look down on anyone including people that are trying to learn and follow the same path and beliefs as them.

Picture it, we are all sitting around the table, passing the horn and making introductions. I’m literally trying not to vomit on my boots. At the other end of the table is our host (the individual that donated his land for us and others to use) and sitting next to him are 3-4 men representing other kindreds. At first, their knowledge astounded me and made me realize that there is A LOT I need to learn. Then came the condescending tones and the group of men didn’t teach any of us ‘newbies’ anything to help us along our journey. One thing that frightened me a bit was the talk of organizing heathenry. That shook me a bit to the point it felt like history was repeating itself. I chose the heathen path BECAUSE it wasn’t an organized religion/belief. I admit that I would like to me more traditional in that way but not to the point where heathens need one leader and follow them. Then there was the discussion about enforcing accountability. I stood up and stepped away from the table. Enforcing accountability will lead to people not wanting to heathen and encourage hate.  I believe in my Gods and Goddesses and trust myself.

Then the article came out. One of the members from a visiting kindred that sat and drank and supped with us decided that he was going to write an article that was rather condescending. Now, it takes A LOT for me to speak in front of my own kindred but I felt utterly stupid reading what he had written and labeled me as a ‘newbie’ as if it was bad. Instead of imparting wisdom and some basic information he used us as guinea pigs for his article. He mentioned the men that were seated next to him that had the most knowledge but not one female. He also came across as one that is folkish or believes you need direct ancestry and lineage to follow the heathen way. The bloodline, HIS bloodline is all he really boasted about and gave off the vibe if anyone isn’t on his level of knowledge need to get their ass in gear but ONLY if they have the pedigree.

I know I made that sound all negative and that I didn’t have a great time but that was only a small part. He wrote an article (poorly written) with his opinions and STILL didn’t educate others. What I did learn and experience is a sense of community and bond between other people from different walks of life. I learned that we are all at different levels of our journey and it’s completely acceptable. This one guy taught me that there are others like him out there and it’s ok. They are going to be who they are and we can learn from them.

Sunday morning I was able to make everyone biscuits and gravy (southern style) and it felt great doing something I love and being able to share it with others. I was able to connect to other people including one person that understood me almost as well I do. Kids were kids and we even had a Scottish man playing guitar. Lots of laughs and learning bringing in an all in all great weekend.

This is just a mild recap as there is more to come about my week. Any heathens that have opinions I would like to hear from you. Any knowledge and advice you have pass it on.

Happy Thorsdagr Y’all!

 

A Quick Daily Study: 48

It’s morning and I’m up. That’s about as good as it’s going to get since my head is still fuzzy. I don’t think it helps that I haven’t been following my diet or really exercising. I did great until the weekend then I had Ostara with the kindred and after that, it was downhill from there. I’m going to try today and a get back on track. I did sleep through my first alarm to get up and exercise but I’ll get on the treadmill today. I’m going to start here with my Havamal study:

Pocket Version

Generous and brave men lie best, they
seldom cherish sorrow; but a base-
minded man dreads everything;
the niggardly is uneasy even at gifts.

I think this stanza is saying that brave men rarely talk sweetly about a loss like they would a brave act. We don’t share much about a sad occasion in our lives as much as we do about something we can boast about that took some sort of courage. It’s ok to cherish the sad events because it’s what helps make up who we are. As to the second part of the stanza, I’m a little lost. I think this is talking about two more different types of people with the base-minded man is a person that doesn’t grow or travel beyond his own backyard so everything that is new to him is frightening. The second I had to look up the meaning of the word ‘niggardly’ which states that it’s a person who is not generous and stingy. So, this person being uneasy at giving gifts would be uneasy for the obvious reasons of being stingy. It could also mean that the person doesn’t care for receiving them as well because now they are obligated to return the favor. This is what I think this stanza says.

Happy Tuesday!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 45

I’m late posting (writing in general) this morning due to my having to search vectors for a logo to incorporate on a shirt for work. Why am I doing it from home? Because I’m BLOCKED from most sites. I’m even blocked from viewing images just to see if that’s what’s needed. But here we are at stanza 45:

Pocket Version

If thou a hast another, whom thou little
trustest, yet wouldst good from him
derive, thou shouldst speak him fair, but
think craftily, and repay treachery with lies.

This is a follow up not only to yesterday’s stanza but also to Stanza 42. I think that this stanza is advising that if you were to have a person that you call a friend but not one that you fully trust or even call to confide the most embarrassing or difficult situations in, it’s ok to still be friends and to speak nicely of them. Don’t talk about them behind their back and keep the knowledge of their true self you yourself. Think before speaking with them. If they have done you wrong in some form or another, the next time you speak with them, don’t tell them the truth in anything about what is going on with yourself. ‘How’re things going at work?’ Instead of me telling them that it’s a toxic place I would simply reply, ‘Things are good. What’s new with you?’ If I were to tell them what was truly happening that could come back and bite me in the ass. Another lesson for the kiddies.

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 42

Morning Y’all. I’m trying to start the day with a positive vibe but my depression isn’t really giving me a chance to do so. I thought I’ll start my Havamal study early this morning rather than rushing through it so I’m able to get to work. We are still in the Gestaþáttr (guest/traveler/hospitality/behavior section) and it’s covered a lot so far. One thing I’ve learned and I hope you have too is that it some way it is still relatable in these modern times. Here I am at Stanza 42:

Pocket Version:
To his friend a man should be a friend,
and gifts with gifts requite. Laughter with
laughter men should receive, but repay
treachery with lies.

I do not have other translations at the moment from people such as Chisholm or Terry at the ready. TOOHG has been a great help with my journey so far but as I go further I will need to seek other translations for help. I happen to really like this stanza as it’s relatable through some of my own life lessons. I feel that it’s highlighting gifting between loved ones and friends to be equal and enjoyable for both parties. The fact that laughter is mentioned as a gift goes with Stanza 41 that not all gifts are measured in materialistic ways. If you are able to bring a smile and joy to a friend or loved one in a time when needed the gift, in turn, is worth a whole lot. This is especially true for me because there are times that a good laugh and company is something that I desperately need. This could also be when someone is will to sit with you and just be there without speaking and you being able to do the same speaks to the soul of a person and those types of gifts are not measured in price.

The last line pertaining to repaying treachery with lies speaks volumes. Why spend anything or gift a piece of yourself or time to someone that has betrayed you in some form or another? It may not necessarily mean with a ‘lie’ but a fake smile or laugh in passing is an empty as their worth to you. I think the lesson here is don’t waste any time or money or your true self on someone that is fake. This stanza is applicable to a modern heathen and I need to apply it more and remember to be just as treacherous as the people I work with.

Happy Wednesday Y’all.

 

 

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 41

Thanks, WP. My comment section is back so I will be catching up on them. Lack of sleep makes me super cranky and losing an hour due to DLST, it’s just worse. I’m going to start here with my stanza study.

Pocket Havamal
With arms and vestments friends
should each other gladden, those which are
in themselves most sightly. Givers and
requiters are longest friends, if all goes well.

Chisholm:
One should not have too much need of the goods
he has gotten. Often one squanders
on enemies what was intended for loved ones.
Many affairs go awry.

So here it seems that the stanza suggests that you should not be greedy and give up everything seeking material items along with money. Then the last two stanzas illustrate how some people don’t recognize the true friends from the false friends and spends too much on the false. It reminds me of people only want to be your friend because of what you may have to offer or what they can get from you. Perhaps lack of wealth, living comfortably and have real friends is the lesson in this stanza.

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 39

It’s Thursday or Thor’s day (again learning something new) and I’m here at work taking a break from a negative supervisor. I’m trying to figure out how to make the impossible possible but have hit a brick wall which brings me here.

Pocket Version:
I have never found a man so wealthy,
or so hospitable that he refused a gift; or of
his property so abundant that he scorned a
repayment.

Chisholm:
I never found a generous man
who was so free with his food,
that he would turn it down, or so generous
as to loath a gift were it given.

Ok, there is apparently a LOT going on with this verse. At first reading of the stanza, it is more or less speaking of human nature. Why would we turn down a gift? It doesn’t matter what we have or how much we have of something a gift always seems to translate into thought and caring. After reading some on TOOHG, they talk about something I hadn’t thought about, gift debt. I know ‘debt’ has a negative tendency but it’s not always about material objects or money it could also be about friendship, time, loyalty and such. I personally appreciate loyalty and friendship but small objects are fun as well. Look how excited I got when my husband gifted me legos.

Society has taught us to be humble and to give gifts without expectations but this teaches that it wasn’t always so. Expectations are warranted in some form or another for gift giving. I know that sounds petty and materialistic but you can’t put a price on friendship or advice.

Happy Thor’s Day
‘Thursday means Thor’s day in Old English. Thor is represented riding a chariot drawn by goats and wielding the hammer.’

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 38

I have been up for a while doing a little research on a subject that I don’t know much about other than the basics. I normally don’t rise to the occasion of proving an individual wrong but when it comes to dog ownership, particularly what is considered a ‘dangerous breed’ I’m a huge advocate. I own 3 of the most docile pit bulls so I felt compelled. I did my research and was reminded of all the stanzas about being overly boastful with ignorant knowledge. I only gave enough information to cause the individuals to think and not to feel stupid.

Today’s stanza is pretty straight forward, I think:

Pocket Version:
Leaving in the field his arms, let no
man go a foot’s length forward; for it is
hard to know when on the way a man may
need his weapon.

Chisholm:
A man should not step one foot
forth in the field without weapons.
One cannot know, when on the road,
when he will need his spear.

I think in a general sense for today’s society is to always be prepared. You never know what could happen and come your way. You may not need a weapon but having knowledge or even basic skills will help keep you safe or at least out of any drama.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 37

I’m super rushed this morning only because my sleep was broken by the roar of my husband’s snore. Seperate rooms are sounding like a good idea the more I think about it. I’m taking time to do this for me this morning.

Pocket Version:
One’s own house is best, small though it
be, at home is everyone his own master.
Bleeding at heart is he, who has to ask for
food at every meal-tide.

Chisholm:
One’s own home is best, though it is small.
To each, home is hall.
His heart will bleed
who has to ask for each meal’s meat.

This is kind of like stanza 36 reminding me that no matter how small and humble my home it’s still mine. This stanza goes further to explain how painful it is for someone to ask for shelter and food. I know what it’s like to go without and how it hurt me to ask for help of any kind. I tend to ask someone if they would like something or ask if I can help so the other person doesn’t have to feel what I feel.

Be kind and happy Tuesday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 36

Yesterday I attended a pagan fundraiser and to visit with people from the kindred. I actually learned something new. You and I both know my recall SUCKS and when put on the spot I just can’t and could actually start to stutter. Luckily, my husband knew what I was talking about and was able to show what I was talking about. I learned how to pronounce certain words pertaining to Norse correctly. Ostara isn’t actually supposed to be pronounced with the ‘a’ at the end of the word and it’s just Ostar (now I’m giggling because my Grammarly popped up telling me it’s misspelled). It’s always awesome to learn new things. Here it is Monday, and I’m at stanza 36:

Pocket Version:
One’s own house is best, small thought
it be; at home is everyone his own master.
Though he but two goats possess, and a
straw-thatched cot, even that is better
than begging.

Terry:
Though it be little, better to live
in a house you hold as your own;
with just two goats, thin thatch for your roof,
you’re better off than begging.

There are several translations but they are mostly worded the same. The first part makes me think no matter how poorly conditioned or furnishing of your home…it’s your home. It’s something that you have worked hard for and continue to do so. I like Terry’s translation as the line, ‘thin thatch’ brings home the fact that it doesn’t matter how poor you are it’s a great feeling to have something to call your own. Somewhere you can be yourself.

Our house isn’t much and needs tons of TLC and we are working hard to get the funds to do so but it’s ours and we couldn’t ask for much more. Be proud of what you have achieved so far in your home.

Happy Monday everyone!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 35

I was a little kinder to myself this morning and didn’t push to get on the treadmill. I took a few minutes to myself and relaxed in bed before getting up. I even washed my hair and did some skin care. Now, I’m sitting with a cup of ice cold coffee and writing this. I have set up my Friday Fictioneer post, paid some bills, and even have a great idea for today’s photo. I’ll get on the treadmill tonight and probably even do some grocery shopping. Here we are with today’s stanza (skipped yesterday because it was an ‘honest’ weigh-in day):

Pocket Version:
A guest should depart, not always
stay in one place. The guest becomes
unwelcome, if he too long stays in
another’s house.

Chisholm:
Then the guest should go.
He should not stay too long in one stead.
When one stays too long in another’s house,
love turns into loathing.

This reminds me of some homespun words my grandmother would spout, ‘don’t wear out your welcome.’ I always try to make sure that if we have to stay overnight with the kindred that it is possible, first. If not, then other plans are made. I think this is a great reminder for people who tend to take advantage of the situation end up becoming the ‘regretful’ guest.

Happy Friday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 34

Whoa…I’m running late! My body must be tired because I woke up an hour late. Maybe it was the cake that I had last night. Yes, Y’all. I was SUPER naughty with my diet this week but I had some of the best food. That’s ok. I’ll get back on my diet.

I’ll start here and hopefully, the rest of the day will fall into place (not so behind).

Pocket Version:
Long is and indirect the way to a bad
friend’s, though by the road he dwell;
but to a good friend’s the paths lie direct,
though he lives far away.

Chisholm:
It is a long way to the false friend
though he dwell by the road.
but a straight way lies to the good friend,
though he lives far away.

I think these hold true even in today’s society and even more so among heathens. I find that my husband and I will travel for an hour or so to be with kindred. It’s long nights, great conversation, and so much knowledge and information going around. It’s those trips we look forward too. Although my husband and I both agreed that if we are taking our son along the dangerous road conditions during the winter we will not attend.  What I’m saying it doesn’t matter the distance it’s worth the trip. Now, with fake friends, it’s a hassle and feels stressful to even attempt a get-together. I have some of those types of friends that live in my town and I feel so much stress just dealing with the thought of the situation. Basically, it doesn’t matter how far the visit it’s with a pure purpose for a true friend. The fake ones take longer to get to and it doesn’t matter how long the distance.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 33

Depression and anxiety can run a toll on a person. Compound that with a toxic work environment, my bed seemed like the best solution for my day. Instead, I thought about my quick study and a new Twittering Tales to write about got me out of bed. The kiddo getting excited about his new music class and practicing a recorder gave me the little push of excitement that I needed to get some positivity this morning. I got on the treadmill, enjoyed a hot shower, and started the day. Here we are, stanza 33:

Pocket Version:
Early meals a man should often take,
unless to a friend’s house he goes; else he
will sit and mope, will seem half-famished,
and of few things inquire.

Chisholm:
A man should often get his meal early.
When he visits friends, otherwise he sits and idles,
eats like he were starving
without even asking.

There are several translations for this stanza and one is different from the other. I think this could be sound advice. If there are plans to have a meal at a gathering it’s best to eat a small meal before leaving. Don’t want to be that person that gets there and eats like they haven’t eaten in days. This will give you a chance to enjoy the meal with your family, friends, and or kindred along with the conversation. Could be wrong but this is what I take from it.

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

 

Fates Dread

I had such a difficult time with this story. There is so much more I want to add and write but I have to get ready for work and if it’s any longer then it’s no longer considered a short story. I strayed from the normalcy of Norse mythology and wanted to dabble a little in romance and fate.


Even at night in the comfort of darkness, Asta felt uneasy. She had a gift and honed it over the years. A völva is respected, feared, and regarded but Abigail couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. She was feared more than anything as her beauty was still intact but she accepted the solitude as it was her path in life. She paced with nervousness and rubbed her sweaty palms on the back of her linen gown. She thought about tossing her runes and thought perhaps not and knew it wasn’t her time to be taken from the earthly realm.

She could hear the wind pick up outside as if helping her dread come to her door. The candles flickered on the tables in her room and the fire roared a little louder than it should for being in a hearth. Asta sat at her weaving and began to work on her blanket when she lost herself between the threads and hand motions. She could see a man walking away from bodies, sword in hand. With every footstep, she could hear thunder and feel the steps vibrating through her. A feeling of emptiness consumed her but was rescued from it with a banging on her door.

She opened the door to find a young child looking up at her. This was not her usual seeker of truth. She knelt to his level but he said nothing. ‘I’m Asta. Would you like some stew?’ The boy didn’t answer but took her hand. Not to lead her but to show her. The moment he gripped her hand she was taken back to the bloody field. This time the man was walking to her and not just in her direction. When the boy let go of her hand she was standing in the field behind her home and in front of her was the man from her visions.

Asta finally spoke, ‘Gulbrand.’ She said in a knowing timid whisper. He stepped closer to her, ‘Asta.’ They knew each other’s names without knowing one another. He took her hand and the final scene was revealed when he kissed her cheek. The moment his warm rough lips touched her smooth cool cheek she was taken back to the field. In a tent of red fabric, she sat in a chair cradling a full term belly rubbing the soles of her feet on furs that covered the ground. Gulbrand entered and washed his hands and face before kneeling in front of Asta. He cradled the unborn child looking up at Asta and smiled. The field of bodies was a cost of protection. Then Asta was shown the same field where Gulbrand was playing with a young boy. He was the same child at her door, her future son.

Then it was darkness and dread and willed its way back to her. Gulbrand, as if reading her mind, ‘Don’t fear your fate. Our saga began the moment your vision revealed me. Our paths were chosen by the Gods. Our son is destined to be the future of man.’ Asta knew more than Gulbrand. Their son is may be the future of man but also ends the futures of others. That was the dread she felt.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 11

This morning I woke up late so things are going to be kind of short. I’m at stanza 11 of my Havamal. According to the Temple of Our Heathen Gods, stanzas 10-14 are kind of linked together. I like Chisholm’s version for this one.

Chisholm:

A man bears no better burden,
when on the wilderness ways
than great wisdom. One can have no worse fare,
on road or field, than too much ale.

Pocket Version:

A worse provision on the way he can-
not carry than too much beer-bibbing; so
good is not, as it is said, beer for the sons
of men.

The first two lines are reminiscent of the lines from stanza 10 but the next lines are telling me that too much drink will not be as easy to carry. It also dulls the senses of being cautious, aware, and keeping your wits about you. I’m a social drinker meaning even at Sumbels or fires with the Kindred I only have a glass of mead outside of drinking from the horn. Whereas others are not in the same mind frame and that’s ok too. Another stanza reminding me to keep cautious, aware, and wits about.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 10

I have to say yesterday was an ‘I’m going to smack the kid for acting entitled’ sort of day. I was able to control my emotions and just do my job. I still wanted to smack him though. With that being said during the Kindred’s book club meeting we were talking about traits of a heathen and being able to control your own emotions. That is something I’m definitely going to have to work on as my facial expressions are a dead give away. Here we are Stanza 10 still in the hospitality section of the Havamal. I’m going to change things up a bit and use Terry’s translation thanks to the Temple of Our Heathen Gods. It just seems easier for me to read.

Terry:
If a man takes with him a mind full of sense
he can carry nothing better;
riches like this on a stranger’s road
will do more good than gold.

My Pocket Havamal Translation:
A better burden no man bears on the
road than much good sense; that is thought
better than riches in a strange place; such is
the recourse of the indigent.

What better thing to have with you is Wisdom? When you’re packing for a long trip or preparing yourself to even go out to the grocery store you are already preparing with the wisdom you have without even knowing it. The grocery list or umbrella because it’s going to rain later. Or how about an emergency kit in the car that includes blanket and salt because the state you’re traveling to is expecting snow? Or what about when you are there and you are needing provisions or directions or hell you get turned around. Deep inside you, there is the knowledge that you tap into and get to what, who, or where is needed. By far this is one of my favorite stanzas. On a side note, I would love to visit Externsteine in Germany. I found a small article about this place and if any of my readers could guide me into finding more information about the towns surrounding it and pictures that would be greatly appreciated. Happy Tuesday everyone!

 

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 6

With the holiday season is finally wrapping up I can get back into my personal growth project. Part of learning Asatru and Heathenism is learning, reading, and practicing. The problem is I can read and understand most everything I read. It’s my memory-retaining the information and I think that’s going to be my downfall. If I’m accepted into the kindred as an official member I have to be able to sit down one on one and talk to them about the reading material. Well…FML! I’ll do my best.

So far I have been sharing with you my stanzas that have covered being cautious, a good host, and being a good guest. I’m sitting here with muffins in the oven (early because we have adult things to do today) and coffee. Dedication is something that I’m working on and it’s better when it’s quiet in the house.

Stanza 6 Terry Translation
Better to be careful than to boast
how much is in your mind;
when the wise come in, keeping their counsel,
trouble seldom starts.
A man won’t find a better friend
than his own head full of sense.

Pocket Translation
Of his understanding, no one should
be proud, but rather in conduct cautious.
When the prudent and taciturn come
a dwelling, harm seldom befalls the
cautious; for a firmer friend no man ever gets
that great discernment.

This seems like a LOT to take in. Thanks to previous translations and research it’s a bit easier to swallow. Since we are in the ‘hospitality’ section of the Havamal I think this is also a good stanza of advice. It’s better to not talk too much about yourself, your knowledge, criticize someone’s views, talk down about how something is done. Don’t be rude and prideful-it can make for an awkward situation. When you are a guest me mindful of how you speak. You won’t really start trouble or offend if you’re talking out your ass. ‘Sit down, shut up, and observe’ is a nice clear and precise to the point answer.

I learned that during sumbels there is a time for a person to boast specifically about themselves…I just wish I had something to boast about. There is one woman that shows up to the sumbels and rituals but never brings much but herself and her obnoxious boasting speech. After reading this all I can think about is her.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 4

Another late night last night but talking with my son was worth it until the conversation turned into Sharknados and zombies. I was like,’ Dude, you’re stalling. Go to bed. Mommy loves you.’ He grinned knowing he was busted and took off to his room.  Yesterday according to my Asatru calendar was Feast of Sunna is a national holiday in Sweden. My daughter doesn’t follow the Norse beliefs so she wasn’t going to serve coffee and cake with a crown of candles and I’m ok with that. I think I wouldn’t do it either in fear of wax burning my scalp.  Today is Tulya’s E’en opens to the Norse Merry Month. Seven days before Yule, all the trolls are released from the underground. This is also the season when Odin and the wild hunt ride. Householders protect their farms by saining (blessing) them with the sign of the hammer, and fire is carried through all the buildings. I have a hammer hanging in my living room from my woodburning trial and error and even though I’m not going to carry a big ol’ torch through the house I will with a candle.

Here we are, Friday, and Stanza 4.

Hollander Translation:
A drink needeth to full dishes who cometh,
a towel, and the prayer to partake;
good bearing eke, to be well liked
and be bidden to banquet again.

Pocket Version: 
Water to him is needful for
refection comes, a towel and hospitable
invitation, a good reception; if he can get it,
discourse and answer.

Oh boy, this one is a lot to swallow. What helped me understanding this stanza, thanks to Temple of Our Heathen Gods,

Guests do not get an automatic pass (just as hosts do not get an automatic pass). When the guest enters the hall, he is implored in Stanza 1 to look about and make sure no foes are present. In Stanza 2 we see this idea that the guest is placed near the fire and “pressed” or tested. Questions are asked. The guest is measured and his or her worthiness judged. And in Stanza 4, we see that if the guest has earned it…he or she should get fair fame and conversation should be shared with him or her.

Another point that has been mentioned to me in the past, is something very easily missed. The stanza makes it clear that our ancestors valued cleanliness, at a time in history when cleanliness was not at the top of every culture’s list of values.

How about that to every guest be cautious and to every host be just as aware. As a host be hospitable and as a guest be grateful and generous as well.

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