Equality is in the eye of the owner…

It’s no surprise that I have been struggling with the employer/company that I am with. I can’t tell you how many times I heard from one of the company’s owners, ‘promote unity’ or seen signs referring to ‘equality’ but I saw first hand that is ALL a bunch of bull. I’m one of those people that say, ‘Don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining.’ Crude statement? Sure, but it’s as blunt as I can put it because people don’t seem to understand don’t dress up an ugly situation (inequality, rudeness, etc…) to make it pretty. Pretty much quit lying.

My kids’ school has what they call a late start. This is just what it sounds like. The school offers a program that the parent has to pay to use if they cannot find alternative supervision or arrangements for their children. My son forgot one morning that it was a late start and left for school. The older siblings forgot as well but decided to go to breakfast with their friends. This is where my son chose to go to the school’s ‘before’ school program and in turn, the school sent me a bill. Insert most dramatic eye roll while paying a bill. The school promotes late start but can make money if the parents can’t make other arrangements. See what happened there? Now the kids and I have our reminders set and it sounds like a bomb is fixin’ to detonate those mornings.

This week, I was walking into the office to return color-up request paperwork when I saw a young child around my son’s age sitting next to one of our CSRs. Me being the nosey person I asked if he belonged to her and if everything is OK. She is one of the individuals that I don’t mind going the extra mile for as she has done the same for me. Here we are, during work hours, her son sits and she also gets to leave to take him to school on the late start morning.

EVERY MOTHER in that place has had to make special arrangements right down to missing work to take care of their children. Why was she allowed to be the one person that’s allowed to bring her child and then leave 2 hours later to take him to school? Then I realized that equality is in the eye of the company’s owner. I didn’t directly take my anger and frustration out on her but I definitely didn’t go out of my way for custom work. So much so that I made her do her job and ask the client for the original work.

What does one do in that situation?

Still working on building my portfolio…

 

Happy Friday Everyone

This is a doodle from my Inktober failure. It brings a smile to my face and thought it would for y’all too.

Doodle(s)wash: 6/26

I wasn’t going to paint. I was going to crawl in bed and binge eat all my comfort foods and go to sleep. While eating I was going to overthink and replay conversations in my head. I thought days like these were going to be easy for me to overcome and rise above. All I have is doubt in my capabilities as graphic artist and skills.

I used to have to fight for my right to have a job (with my ex) and to fight for my rights to go to college. They weren’t pretty or easy to go through both mentally and physically but I got a job and a degree. It took 12 years but I got it. Then at work today I was gaslighted by a coworker.  After providing proof (physical and digital proof) that I wasn’t I wasn’t the one that created the artwork, that she was (knowing and being told that she wasn’t supposed to) gaslighting still continued. I came home, cooked dinner and grabbed the kids Oreos when my husband asked me if I painted. Had I preplanned my next meals? He was successful in distracting me from my head then listened to what happened-it was a lot better than the guilt I would’ve felt after eating a million points worth of cookies.

He also surprised me with some tomato cages (that’s the way to a southern woman’s heart), potting soil, and a hanging basket with a promise to go with me to pick out flowers to plant in it.

Even though the painting has a dark air about it, I did feel better painting it.


Prompt Word: Lake

March 28th, 2018

Today was a great coming out of the gate. I made it into work on time and in a positive frame of mind. Then I found out what was really being said about me and was told that I act like an adult and the ‘persons’ responsible are acting like children. That’s great and all but I’m the anxious over-thinker worried about losing my job over untruthful BS. So, I wrote my short story and felt better…loads better. The story was fun and I tried to turn the prompt into something no one expected.

Then there were meetings and of course, I’m sitting across from the forked-tongued individuals. No eye contact was made but the tension was clearly visible. I did, however, thrive in the meeting which I’m afraid only made worse. They were talking a design and coding language that I understand and could speak back. Then they were later showed my computer station where I was able to be the geek that I am explaining what I do and how I do it.

Now for my good stuff of the day. I think I need to start thinking about the positive elements of my day to help keep the negative from playing over and over in my head. I was nominated for two more blogging awards which I will curate those blogs Friday. SUPER excited about those and I will thank those people again and give them the recognition they deserve. And I have decided to participate in the A to Z challenge! I know it’s a big bite to take but I thought since I want to also participate in the NANO month challenge it would be a great exercise. I have been able to write my 6-word stories, daily doodles and even write short stories through other prompts why not actually plan something and work on it.

A to Z needs a theme. I have decided to add a page to the site just for this but can also add other challenges I decided to do. So I will be working on that this week as well. It makes me feel good to think about writing and things like this. I will also start my alphabet journal the same day as my challenge begins. That’s my start date and should end the same time as my challenge. I am still going to try to also keep up with my daily doodles and 6-word stories.

RECAP LIST

  • A web page for  the A-Z challenge (Need to figure out theme and category)
  • Alphabet watercolor journal (animals, foods, flowers, colors…buildings?)
  • Award Posts

All in all the blog, art, writing, and the music I listen to help me through the anxiety and depressive states from outside individuals that feel my C-PTSD isn’t real. I wish they could spend a day in my brain. So, off to do my doodle and some research. Thanks for reading Y’all.

July 28th, 2017

All I can say, my patience was stretched very thin this past week. Not because of my family or errands or even my job. It’s because of the people I work with or rather one individual in particular. I have been a graphic designer for over 5 years and worked with the Adobe suite even longer. Let’s jus say I know my stuff. I have now also been trained to work on certain machines throughout the factory since we’ve been so slow.

Monday’s Fiasco

A company sent something for us to imprint because they just couldn’t do it. I was trained on this certain machine last summer. I’m not only accurate but proficient, so when these 492 pieces came to us they knew who would do them. I haven’t gotten any work in almost two weeks and have been doing odd jobs where they needed help, so it seemed like I was the logical solution.

The Problem

The Thursday before, I was warned by a CSR that a major project for a certain team was in the works and to expect it by mid afternoon. So I waited and waited but nothing landed on my desk. I trimmed and filed paperwork to kill time. Friday morning there were 4 color-ups on my desk. To say the least, I was excited to have work. I’m reading through the specs and realized the CSR writing them up basically left me to do his job for him. I felt that if that was the case then I should get paid his salary too. I brought it to my supervisor’s attention about the necessary information was missing along no with the file name to save the art. She promptly took it from me and reassured me she will get the specs that I needed. She came back later that day and said that she will talk to his supervisor about it on Wednesday about not only his attitude (as he was constantly harassing me about artwork and snapping at her) and the how to properly write a color-up form.

Monday, I woke up and dressed for the day to work with this particular machine, got my coffee (and good mood) and headed to work. I arrived, clocked in, checked my emails for any artwork that was needed (surprise-none) and headed to the floor. I checked in the garments, set the machine up and away I went. I had a great rhythm going knocking out almost a full hundred WHEN the CSR comes to tell me about the artwork project. What he fucking failed to mention was that there was a meeting that this team manager had and needed the artwork to present to the owner. KIND OF A BIG THING TO KNOW! I looked him square in the face and explained how the pieces had to be moved quickly. Bile started to build in my throats as my anxiety wrapped around me like a blanket. The only solution I had was to ask for overtime knowing I could do both with a quick turnaround. HE FOLLOWED ME!  He had the audacity to eavesdrop on a conversation between me and my supervisor! I was told no obviously as he was the one that dropped the ball. I got the pieces done and the meeting happened between the two supervisors. As of this morning no color ups were to be found. I took a 1/2 day of vacation to decompress as now he blames me for his mistakes. It was for my mental health.

Is that wrong? Nope. I paid bills, spent time with my kids, got a chance to write this entry and will even catch up on some sleep because I didn’t sleep well at all this week. One good thing this week is that my family has been pre approved for a home loan. Which means I can move our family away from a town known for meth labs and the cops driving through our neighborhood with lights flashing at 2 am in the morning. Now the dream of staying at home with my kids, writing, painting, and taking care of our own home is in the first stages.

So…take a break when you need. It’s ok to say enough is enough. Have dreams and get everything in motion. It’s ok to take care of yourself and your aspirations.

 

p

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