Letting Go; 18,000 Pieces at a Time

Remember when I wrote something about going to the library with the husband? The trip sparked 2 ideas/goals and a new found love for books. I don’t have time to read but I have 8 hours a day at where I work to listen. We aren’t supposed to listen to audiobooks but I do anyways…or now I do. I’m almost done with an Anne Rice novel and I forgot how much I enjoyed her style. I wish I could write like her but in shorter stories. There’s one.

Two is the library hosts their own quilt show/contest. Oh my! The talent in some these quilts. Next years theme is Flowers and I really REALLY want to enter but the problem is I don’t know how to quilt. Not like what was on display there. So, do I get a machine and try or just put that thought on the back burner? I’m looking into second-hand sewing machines and will YouTube the S*!+ out of the subject and even get to the library for how to books.

Three. The biggy. Picture it, the South, the early 2000s. I’m in my first trimester with a sibling for my other kiddos. Money is tight for my young family both parents not experienced enough to deal with adult responsibilities. The military pay wasn’t all that great, especially for our growing family and I offered to get a job at a local restaurant. My husband at that time had FORBIDDEN me to work. I was lucky I could leave the house, truth be told. He had been hoarding a clothing allowance that he received for almost a year. It was HIS money. It was ALL HIS MONEY. I woke up one morning and purchased a $350 18,000 piece puzzle. Believe me, I paid for it later but not with money.

Now, almost 11 years later this puzzles sits at the top of my closet. Only opened once to see what it looked like inside. A box of bad memories and pain just sitting and collecting dust. I noticed when visiting the library that there was a puzzle in the back area on a table being put together. I had asked about it and the librarian said it was sometimes put together by the staff, sometimes it was put together by other people. ‘Would the library take a donation in the form of a puzzle?’ I knew when I asked she probably thought that there were pieces missing or that it was in rough shape. The shock on her face when my husband carried in the puzzle. It was heavy for me but he carried it in like a bale of hay.

‘The box looks a little rough. It has traveled with me, baggage if you will for over 11 years. The four sections are bagged separately. Each section to a bag. This is number 17 out of 8216 puzzles made and the shipping slips show that it’s from Germany originally. There’s a certificate of authenticity and a poster for image reference. Can the library use it? It will finish 9 feet wide by 6 feet tall.’ She was overwhelmed and excited to receive it and the only thing I asked was to see it if and when it’s finished. She didn’t need to know the history of the puzzle.

I feel lighter. A reminder of past pain and abuse (both emotional, mental, and physical) related to that box is gone. I don’t need to hold on to it and something awesomely great will come from it. The beauty of the craftsmanship of the puzzle will FINALLY be put together. I still have a lot of healing to do and this was a great step forward.

Super Excited!

Coming home and ordering pizza was one of the most relaxing things I’ve done for myself today outside of creating my olive monster. Then I learn that I REALLY get to write a guest post on an art blog. Details coming soon but I’m OVER THE MOON to be given the opportunity to do it. THEN I was checking stats and noticed that one of my referrers was Discover. Umm…HUH? After Discover ended the topics I thought that would NEVER appear again.

I had a short response and thought it wouldn’t make a difference. There were so many awesome responses and stories. The question was, ‘What if you could do anything?’ My insignificant answer, short and to the point, ‘Heal what has been broken.’ There is so much turmoil in the world and within me that these were the only acceptable words that could barely scrape explaining what I would do. But, Y’ALL! (insert excited EEK here). I’m the 6th response down!!!

With everything going awful and these two positive moments happening on the same day is a renewal of determination and grasping confidence again. Just wanted to share and toot my own horn for a bit. EEK! And now I’m going to get some much needed rest.

Ending September 6 Word Story 9/29-9/30

This weekend was both fun and mentally tiring. I took a mental health day to myself and called in a vacation day. I think they can do without me for a day. If not there are other people there that can do a quick graphic. Today is October 1st and also the beginning of Inktober and weekend road trips to haunted locations this month (or so I planned). Let’s start with catching on my last two 6 word stories for Septemeber. Stayed tuned for October’s 6 Words, list, and Inktober beginnings. Happy Monday everyone.


Prompt 9/29: Flower

Caution! Poisonous petals still hold beauty.

Prompt 9/30: Grind

Don't let society widdle your spirit.

6 Word Story: 9/22-24

I’m going to start off saying…I failed already this morning but plan on walking this evening. Second…I had the most relaxing and wonderful weekend. I didn’t worry much about anything. I lived in the moment and it was one of the most rewarding experiences. I’m going to catch-up then post later about events, ideas, and adventures. They may not be considered as adventures by normal standards but for me, it was.


I think it’s true that you’re are only as old as you think you are. I also think that I have missed out on a lot because I felt like I had to be an adult. I ended up being a wet blanket when I could have enjoyed so much more in life. I’m going to start trying to still be an adult but one that enjoys more in life.

9/22 Prompt: Youthful

Age depends on how you feel.

I think if I believe that my mind, thoughts, and feelings as my space rather than a part of societies whole I wouldn’t let so much eat at me. Or at the very least, not have panic attacks about what others think about me.

9/23 Prompt: Territory

Your mind, your territory, your rules.

Frogs? What was I thinking about this prompt? At least I made myself smile this morning and hope ya’ll got a kick out the prompt too.

9/24 Prompt: Frogs

Kissing frogs shouldn't be a priority.

6 Word Story: 9/21

My son kept me up last night for no real reason other than I took his tablet from him and he thought he was going to be sneaky and try to get it. Lack of sleep kind of killed my motivation to get on the treadmill this morning. In fact, I’m running so behind this morning I’m really not caring if I’m late for work. My friend that texted yesterday about her depression was doing so much better later in the day. She told me that she liked to draw and I got her a pad and micron pens so she can get back into her doodling. I explained to her that is can help and I realized that I need to get back into it myself. I have no plans this weekend other than battling the mosquito population with chemical warfare.

Today’s prompt seems like something that is hard to find or is manipulated for people’s own personal agenda but I’m going to try and keep it positive.


Prompt: Tangible

Your goals are proof of hope.

6 Word Story: 9/17

I understand that people need to work to make a living. Unfortunately, here in the states that really doesn’t afford us any downtime when sick and unless we have vacation days to take we take a hit on payday.  Our janitor came to work sick 3 days in a row…he touches EVERYTHING and now 3 other people and myself have the stomach flu. I have vacation days that I’m now forced to use so I can pay bills rather than actually using it for something let’s say more relaxing. I wish we at least got sick days but the company I work for isn’t compassionate like that.


Prompt: Remove

Abolish self-doubt and be yourself.

6 Word Story: 9/17

I woke up this morning with a renewed feeling. Walking on the treadmill was relaxing as I looked around at my decluttered living room. So relaxed in fact that I lost track of time and was late to work. I have had these many times in my life and during those moments I didn’t take the arguments as learning experiences. Looking back, I believe that they have helped me grow as a person in some way.


Prompt: Quarrel

Embrace controversies to learn other perspectives.

 

6 Word Stories: Declutter 9/15-9/16

As many of you may know this has been the week from hell for me. Yesterday, I ran around running errands and when I got home I didn’t feel relaxed or at ease. Isn’t home supposed to be a place where a person can go to relax? I looked around and decided that it was time to declutter my living room and back area where my treadmill is sitting. I purchased simple cube organizers that placed the important items on top (my owl knick-knacks) and inside I hid shoes and other eyesores that didn’t have a proper place. Everything else…tossed in the trash. Items that I haven’t touched in years or that didn’t serve a purpose anymore.

This morning I woke up feeling at ease and enjoyed a cup of coffee. My family and I went to breakfast, my husband offered to do laundry so I can write and make applesauce. When he’s done we are going to the local hardware store and purchase items for a firepit that I have been desperately wanting along with something to kill mosquitos. I tried the home remedies and nothing is helping so now it’s full-on chemical warfare. Before I wage war I’m going to catch up on my stories. Then the rest of the day I’m going to do things that I enjoy…maybe even some painting.


9/15: Introduce

Open doors and learn new things.

9/16: Wake

Keep vigil over your own heart.

6 Word Story: 9/10

I’m not feeling too inspired but I know because of the exhaustion that I’m feeling. I looked the word up for a definition and it can either mean boring or it could mean earthly rather than heavenly. That reminded me of the Mortal Instrument series (read them all) and that often humans that didn’t have supernatural capabilities or shapeshifters were known to me mundanes. Now I want to write a shapeshifting story…ugh!


Prompt: Mundane

Break everyday standards and be authentic. 

6 Word Stories: 9/8-9/9

Have you ever wished life would give you a break? The kind of break where you can sit and do nothing and not worry about anything? I would kill for the opportunity to go for a hike or even just bask in the sun (now that it’s not storming anymore). My daughter received bad news and isn’t doing too well, emotionally. She had a miscarriage and what’s worse the doctor will not do anything until Monday hoping things will happen naturally. This morning, I learned that my cousin was in a bad wreck last night. Lost control and rolled the vehicle. She and her boyfriend are lucky to be alive. I was going to do nothing today. I wasn’t going to go outside, answer the phone, check social media, or do my stories. It feels like it would open the floodgates but I figured that living in that frame of mind is what will turn into me not leaving my bed for a few days. I talked to my daughter and cousin now I’m trying to write. Here goes nothing.


9/8: Offer

Offer commitment to achieve your goals.

9/9: Pets

Small paws can deliver unconditional love.

 

6 Word Story: 9/7

Trying to be positive is so difficult with everything happening around me. Bad news coming from both directions then add stress makes it difficult. I did jump on the scale again and it said that I gained 3 more pounds. My rings are tight on my finger then I realized that it’s water weight. So, cut back on the salt and drink more water. That’s my main goal this week.


Prompt: Plausible

Dreams are plausible if you believe.

 

 

6 Word Story: 9/5

The rain is neverending at the moment. Of course, my area is under a flood warning! The river that flows through our town is above flood level and the businesses along its side are preparing for the worst. It’s making my morning walking routines non-existent and even school canceled their first day of school because of the rain. The puppy update…he’s doing better. He’s eating and actually seeking affection from his foster mom. Today’s prompt and the past situation helped inspire this 6-word piece.


Prompt: Voice

Don't whimper. Scream and be heard.

 

6 Word Story: 8/30

Today’s prompt word can be used to refer to many things and situations. Like right now, for example, I believe that I didn’t do well on my diet this week. Pizza, cake, and bloody marys aren’t sufficient but I did love the indulging of fats, cheeses, and booze. I’m forcing myself to get back on track but I’ll post all that later.


Prompt: Belief

Always believe in your first step.

6 Word Stories: 8/25-8/26

I have stolen a few moments to sit and write these. My son’s birthday party is this afternoon and running around trying to get everything picked up, planned, and prepared was more time consuming than I thought it would be. I think the ages between 7 and 13 are the busiest parties or at least for my kids. After 13, they just want to hang out with friends after a small dinner out with the family. What am I thinking having 13 active kids in one place only to have them sugared up on top of the noise and action?

8/25: Domineering

I have experienced this I don’t know how many times in my life. Where I work this is exercised a LOT by people that hold higher positions. Now I tell them, ‘Educate me. Don’t belittle me.’ Sometimes that works in the right situations. Other times, they learn that they are actually the one that needs to be educated.

Arrogance isn't an excuse for belittlement.

I’m going to try and heed my own advice here trying to get out of this slump. No one else is going to do what I want to do and I need to stay positive with my attitude.

8/26: Diligent

Always be active in pursuing dreams.

6 Word Story: 8/21

Wide-eyed and bushy-tailed was something that I wasn’t this morning. I was dragging my butt to get out of bed. I had a horrible stomach bug last night and I was wiped out. And now with the poor air quality due to the wildfires in Canada, I’m exhausted. Today’s prompt was difficult. I thought about all the times that I had given up because of one thing or another. Now, I know that every morning is a chance to start again. Failure happens when we stop trying.


Prompt Word: Wide-Eyed

 

Mornings are chances to start again.

 

6 Word Story: 8/20

I tend to be the person that takes something that bothers me and brood over it. I do it more than I should and it’s just wasted energy. I worked and worked on this prompt trying to make it a positive one.


Prompt Word: Dwell

Reside in confidence and defy failure.

 

6 Word Story: 8/19

I had a wonderful experience last night and felt like I was at home…away from home. That’s why I’m running so far behind. I learned so much. Today’s prompt is one word that can be used for different things: book, call, servant, social media, website…just to name a few. I deleted and rewrote this several times and tried hard to choose one that I absolutely loved. I decided on this one. Why let anyone write your life’s story? They can be a chapter in your life but you write it.


Prompt Word: Page

You're the author of your pages.

 

6 Word Story: 8/18

I would have to admit that I am a very pushy person. I push myself to try new things, make goals and reach them. I push my girls to work hard in school, have empathy, and be good people. I also push people away. The ones that hurt me or abandoned me only to return when they need something. It has taken me a long time to understand that I’m a push person both positive and negative.


Prompt: Pushy

Never be ashamed of your ambition.

6 Word Story: 8/15

I tossed and turned all night last night. Receiving news that your 18-year-old daughter is pregnant will do that to a person. While my husband wanted to kill the boy I had to be the voice of reason, ‘She is an adult and she had sex too.’ She lives in another state first with her father (when she got into trouble here) and then with her boyfriend when her dad kicked her out at 17. There are a lot of moving parts to this story so instead I’m just going to say I tossed and turned.

Everything I wanted to do yesterday came to a hault so I will be finishing my loom today and trying to plan my indoor herb garden. There are so many things to plan I don’t even know where to begin. I also need to go and get the raw milk to make cheese for the Asatru event Saturday. With such a busy list of things to do and so much distracting my head from tasks I thought I’ll just start here with today’s prompt. Today’s prompt was difficult for me but I like where it took me.


Prompt: North

You're imprisoned by your own doubt.

 

6 Word Story: 8/14

Today’s prompt was a great way for me to reminisce about things and people I use to cling to but also the ones that I just let go. Sometimes the decisions weren’t always right and it has taken me a long time to get right with a lot from my past. Most, self-induced.


Prompt: Cling

Right or wrong; hang onto conviction.

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