A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 52

I have been running around like a mad woman trying to get everything packed for our heathen camping get together. I didn’t get to bed until late last night and I was up early full of nervous energy with my second interview this afternoon. After I’m done (hopefully with a job offer), I head home to finish packing the last minute cooler and we’re off. My goal is to come out of my shell and meet more likeminded people and get a little sketching done. I’ve been practicing on my phone posting my 365 Day photos and I think about have that nailed. Lots of nervous energy but it’s all for a good reason. To help calm myself a bit I thought I would read a stanza (here at work):

Pocket Version:

Something great is not always to be
given, praise is often for a trifle bought.
With half a loaf and tilted vessel I got
myself a comrade.

Again, this goes in hand with the last 3 stanzas advising about ‘fake’ friendships which can do more harm than good and ‘real’ friendship that both benefit and grow. The first line I mulled over for a bit and having a hard time with. What I think it’s implying is that friendly words are not always real and with unreal friendships that the favor is expected and entitled. The second line explains further that even though a friend may not have much to offer there’s a ‘real’ friendship there hiding in the imperfection.

Happy Friday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 51

I have been in an awful state since this weekend. I barely take photos and write so I’m going to try and start back with my Havamal Study.

Pocket Havamal

Hotter than fire love for five days burns
between false friends; but is quenched
when the sixth day comes, and-
friendship is all impaired.

I’m not sure what the timeline significance means but it doesn’t go to 9 days which 9 is important in Norse beliefs. However, the stanza as a whole is something I’m sure that we can all relate too. With fake friends or basically, people that aren’t on your side the friendship can seem new and awesome in the beginning. But, over a short period of time, the friendship isn’t what it once was. No one is getting anything from it. Weight is also lifted off your shoulders when you no longer have to visit with them.

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 50

Busy, anxiety-filled morning. I had a horrible dream last night that I failed at the job interview that I have scheduled today. I have checked and double checked my presentation and I just need to clean the screen of my laptop. I’m kind of upset that I can’t find the Windex especially since I just used it. UGH. I’m going to finish this and get ready for work. Then I’ll rush home and change into my interview clothes. I want to do a stanza today to help me calm down.

Pocket Version:
A tree withers that on a hill-top stands;
protects it neither bark nor leaves: such is
the man whom no one favours:
why should he live long?

This stanza goes further to explain yesterday’s stanza. It examples that a tree can still suffer when not protected by a cover of some sore (bark and leaves). The same goes for a person that no one cares about. Everyone needs someone to care about them or some form of companionship. We need affection and companionship. Helping someone through difficult times even if it’s just being there to listen to their problems is a huge help and believe me, it helps.

Happy Thursday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 49

I have a LOT to do today. I need to finish my offline portfolio presentation for the interview tomorrow AND I need to get something ‘springy’ for the interview as well. In my true procrastination nature and not being positive about the interview has me scrambling. I’ll own this simply because I know who I am and my own self-destructive behavior. I’m hoping that I can get most of this done and in bed early. I’m going to start my day off with my stanza:

Pocket Version:
My garments in a field I gave away to
two wooden men: heroes they seemed to
be, when they got cloaks: exposed to insult
is a naked man.

I think this is a three-part stanza. The first giving something off your back to help another. I used to say that my dad, ‘would give the shirt off his back.’ He would do anything to help another person. The stanza goes to explain that once garments were given the men seemed like heroes. I think this says that when a person receives something from another person (kind gesture of some sort) they seem whole again and that they are people and fellow human beings as well. The last bit of the stanza, about being exposed to insult is a naked man. In modern language, the man isn’t really naked but he is in need. It’s easy for people to ridicule and insult someone that is down on their luck. It’s harder but proves your integrity if a person can help another in some small way. I could be completely wrong in this understanding but I think I’m on the right path.

Happy Wednesday Y’all!

Event Anxiety

I’m taking a day off from work today so I can recuperate from the Ostar event with the kindred. No, I wasn’t drunk or hungover. I got ample sleep so it’s not from lack of sleep and trying to explain the fuzz is difficult. I just told my supervisor that I had a stomach bug. In reality, it was my body trying to mend from anxiety and fear. To join the kindred a person needs to speak up in front of everyone at an event such as Yule or Ostar. The anxiety is crippling and I could never speak up and ask. What if everyone voted no?

The Ostar egg hunt went great, the kids had fun painting, and the fire spinning was beautiful. The ritual was moving as always…well, they move me in the sense that it feels right and I’m at home. I was chosen or how it was put, ‘Volutold’ (a cross between volunteering and being told) to be this event’s Valkyrie. Immediately I started to panic. I was reassured that I had one simple line (that I had to say to everyone) and move on. I couldn’t tell you how many times I practiced that in my head. Over and over the line repeated. Not only do I have that going through my head so I don’t screw it up (because it’s a great honor to), I was working on not tripping and falling into the fire or impaling myself with the drinking horn. I think it all went well, I didn’t screw up the line I needed to ask nor did I impale myself on the horn. In the end, it was time to read runes. To uphold the rune reading four wooden ones are thrown to choose people to help in this by reaching out but also sacrificing something. You guessed it, one landed in front of me. I had nothing on me other than my Mjolnir, wedding rings, and a silver tree ring that was an anniversary gift. I wasn’t giving up my wedding rings and my Mjolnir didn’t mean as much as my anniversary ring. So it was the ring that went into the fire. The sacrifice had to be meaningful and this was the only thing I had. My finger is bare but truth be told there isn’t any regret.

As the evening wore on our Sumbel was taking place under the northern lights. I don’t mean we could see them but we were RIGHT UNDER the lights. As I didn’t think things could be any more perfect the moon was rising over a house and the glow was an orange magnificent light. It came time for the circle and I made it through the first two rounds. I hailed the Gods and ancestors but then it was time for the third. Oath, toast, or boast. Oaths are not a no-no but are taken with the utmost care. If you fail with an oath it will affect the kindred Wyrd. That scares me so. I didn’t have anything to toast to but I could have toasted our hosts. DAMN IT! Why didn’t I think of that then? Oh, yeah (wave at my anxiety here). I had a boast which was my job interview I landed for the 28th. Before I could speak, a wonderful person tried to encourage me to ask to join. It was horrible but in a good way. Everyone was staring and people had to vote. I almost threw up twice and held my breath waiting to hear a ‘nay’ but none came.

Now, my body is trying to get better from the panic, fear, and anxiety felt on Saturday? Probably wondering why if it was so bad, do I put myself through this? Because it’s that important to me. Heathenism and Asatru mean that much to me. So today, I’m trying to regroup and think about the responsibility that I have asked to take on. Not only am I learning a new path in life, upholding the modern heathen ways, but I’m also gaining a family. I hope I don’t fail at that. I hope I don’t fail at anything.

So…happy Monday everyone!

 

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 47

Today is going to be a busy day and even busier when my kiddos are in tow. The hubs is working late so our Friday errands are all being completed by me. But, he works hard and things still need to get done but in this way, I can take my time. I also need to get ready for our Ostar celebration with the kindred tomorrow which normally I’m on top of but I have NO IDEA what I’m going to make for a dish to pass? I’m still super excited and I’m working up the nerve NOW to speak up in front of the kindred. Here we are at stanza 47.

Pocket Version:

I was once young, I was journeying
alone, and lost my way; rich I thought
myself, when I met another.
Man is the joy of man.

How true is this? Being young and finding a friend that you can relate too? Being a teen was a difficult time for myself and I’m sure many others. It’s those friends that you find and it seems to make everything a little more bearable. Then growing up happens but I’m sure that’s a different story. Friends, even in adulthood, bring so much happiness in your life. I’m super happy to be traveling a little ways this weekend to meet with the kindred. As the more I get to know them the more I can feel a friendship form.

Happy Friday Y’all!

 

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 45

I’m late posting (writing in general) this morning due to my having to search vectors for a logo to incorporate on a shirt for work. Why am I doing it from home? Because I’m BLOCKED from most sites. I’m even blocked from viewing images just to see if that’s what’s needed. But here we are at stanza 45:

Pocket Version

If thou a hast another, whom thou little
trustest, yet wouldst good from him
derive, thou shouldst speak him fair, but
think craftily, and repay treachery with lies.

This is a follow up not only to yesterday’s stanza but also to Stanza 42. I think that this stanza is advising that if you were to have a person that you call a friend but not one that you fully trust or even call to confide the most embarrassing or difficult situations in, it’s ok to still be friends and to speak nicely of them. Don’t talk about them behind their back and keep the knowledge of their true self you yourself. Think before speaking with them. If they have done you wrong in some form or another, the next time you speak with them, don’t tell them the truth in anything about what is going on with yourself. ‘How’re things going at work?’ Instead of me telling them that it’s a toxic place I would simply reply, ‘Things are good. What’s new with you?’ If I were to tell them what was truly happening that could come back and bite me in the ass. Another lesson for the kiddies.

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 44

I have Mr. Rogers on TV this morning (it’s super early) and I needed a break from the news and I’ll get to that in a minute. The episode that is airing is ‘giving and receiving.’ Mr. Roger’s gave the deliveryman, Mr. McFeely a box with cookies as a gift. The deliveryman thanked him, appreciatively and Mr. Rogers explained how the thank you, appreciation and excitement was a gift in itself. Made me smile because that reminds me of Stanza 39.

The news is breaking my heart here lately. The brutality of the New Zealand attack to the senseless murder of a young girl. I’m a heathen, not a white supremacist and I wish the symbols used in heathery and/or paganism wouldn’t be stolen and used for hate. Everything on the news this morning was hard to understand. Here it is, Monday, and I’m going to read today’s stanza, try and understand it, and get to work.

Pocket Version:

Know, if thou hast a friend whom
thou fully trustest, and from whom
thou woulds’t good derive, though shouldst blend
thy mind with his, and gifts exchange, and
often go to see him.

The Havamal is huge on having true friends. When did that become a concept that no one understands anymore?  What I understand from this stanza is that if you have a true friend, first, nothing but good could come from that. A friend that has a positive effect on your life and you to there’s.  Have a visit with them, or spend time with them and learn from each other but also enjoy each other’s company. Now, the exchanging of gifts doesn’t necessarily mean materialistic/physical items but laughter, appreciation, and time are given during the time being with each other.

I like this stanza as it’s one of the more positive ones and it highlights the benefits of having true friends. I have spent so much time being burned by other people that I don’t really have a true friend. Maybe I should place an ad?

Happy Monday Y’all!

 

A Quick Daily Study: Stanza 43

I got up, weighed in, and decided to work out. I also wanted to take time this morning before the weekend hits to read a stanza. It seems that on the weekends there is so much going on and it starts on Friday. No, I’m not going out and partying. Nope, I’m grocery shopping, running errands, and doing mom stuff. This is me taking the time to read my stanza.

Pocket Version:
To his friend a man should be a friend;
to him and to his friend; but of his foe
no man shall the friend’s friend be.

I grew up with my dad telling me some similar advice, ‘don’t be a friend to an enemy of a friend.’ He said there is no loyalty or integrity to be a friend to your friends enemy. I wish more people understood this as there are more backstabbing and fake friends these days. No good can come from such a friendship. Stay true to yourself and your friends. Here’s a lesson for the kiddies.

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