Dealing with a toxic person is one thing but dealing with a toxic mother is another. She is my mom and I love her but I DON’T have to like her. It’s worse now that I’ve recently learned that my father tried contacting me before he died and she lied to him. Told him she doesn’t know where I am or how to get a hold of me. Yeah, can’t get right with that. Not now and not anytime soon. This is how it started…
Friday morning (early-during my writing and creative time) my mother messaged me on FB. We have that relationship now (which I prefer) to communicate through messaging. She asked if I wanted to go to Minnesota with her for the weekend like a road trip. This warranted a phone call which she proceeded to tell me that the boyfriend was in the hospital and was going to have his foot amputated. REMIND YOU she was calm and would like me to go along to help drive and company. No. Just no. What would happen is a huge argument and jealousy. It also helped that I had plans and the kids had plans and I didn’t have the vacation time. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight me on it.
Now, I’ve made it as far as my clinicals in nursing and understand more than she obviously realized. For an entire weekend, I heard about second surgeries, kidney failure and a total of 3 infections. Trying to decipher what’s true and what SHE wants to be true was a chore and I’m not a subtle person when it comes to BS. She was even crying about having to temporarily move to the state while he’s recovering! Are y’alls eye twitching yet? This back and forth of surgeries, infections, and her not getting any sleep was stressful and I put my phone away.
I was at a local soup social that supported a pagan group when I was being my ‘awkward believing no one liked me-self,’ when I decided to look at my phone. MISTAKE! I had gotten a message from my mom telling me that he was miraculously recovering and will be making a transfer back here to our state. EYE roll please…a message this morning, he took another turn for the worse all the infections are back and he needs dialysis. We already knew he needed that.
Long story short, I’m glad I didn’t go. I’m sorry for her boyfriend having an amputation but he stopped taking his meds and caring for the wound per doctor’s instructions. I hope they are able to save his life in the end but this is something I choose to step away from because it’s healthier for me and my family. I firmly believe my mom has MSBP.
Soup at the soup social was great by the way.