I Survived…

Cue music and dim lights. Everything on Thursday was nice up until my mom came over. Her birthday is at the end of the month and I thought it would be a great time to give her the gift. This also ensures that I don’t have to make a trip out to see her. Why wouldn’t I want to see my mom? Her exuberance of superiority, her display of being better than me, and a touch of guilt are just a few reasons why I keep our visits down to a minimum. She opened her gift which was a bottle of REALLY good mead that she said she enjoyed and an Ancestry DNA kit. This was kind of a jab at her for giving me such grief over my results but I wanted her to see what her DNA story was. ‘Ooohhh (decrescendo here everyone). Thanks.’ That was her reaction. OK, whatever (down a glass of wine).

Then it was time for me to heat up Thanksgiving dinner. Let me tell you it was nice not to run around for a week and prepping and baking then cooking ALL morning to have everyone scarf EVERYTHING down in 5 minutes. Not to mention all the dishes that no one would help with. I timed everything perfectly. It was on the table and people were eating. It was good food. Then my mom chimed in. ‘It’s good but we weren’t brought up this way. I’m cooking tomorrow since Jeff doesn’t have dinners like this.’ This comment here was BULLSHIT (oh sorry this isn’t going to be a PG-rated blog). First off he came to Thanksgiving dinner last year and loved my cooking then seen how she reacted about how good it was and seen why I didn’t want them to come thanks to her jealousy. Second, she cooks homecooked meals ALL the time for him. But ok, whatever (down a second glass of wine). Then my oldest daughter chimed in. For me wanting to take care of myself this holiday was apparently a crime. I felt deflated and me wanting to enjoy being with everyone without having clean up and being exhausted was stolen. The two younger ones stayed the night with her and the oldest went to work allowed my husband and myself to do our shopping. We are mostly done so I’m good with that.

Here we are on Friday. My husband and I set out for coffee and a few more things. We got back in time to discover my oldest didn’t do ANYTHING she was supposed to do. Now I’m irritated but don’t say anything because we have to go to my mom’s for HER homecooked meal. I gushed at the pictures that she posted of my daughter helping here cook but wondered where my son was in these pictures? Oh, she didn’t want to bother with him and let him fall asleep at 6pm. Dinner is served, her boyfriend loves it, and ‘I was able to get all my prep work done when we got back from your place.’ Jab 1. ‘This is really really good. Not like what you get a restaurant. Unknowingly Jab 2 from her boyfriend (or did he know?)’ ‘Mamaw this is so good. Homecooked meals are what I look forward too for the holidays’ Jab 3 from my own damn kid. Then it was time for pies (mind you no one ate the ones I got with dinner) and what was supposed to be my daughter’s spotlight because she cooked them my mom took credit for showing her how to bake pies since I didn’t show her this year. Jab 4. I’m pretty much feeling awful at this point and was thankful that my son wasn’t feeling good. We all came home smelling of smoke because she smokes in her house and we were covered in pet dander. Changed clothes and showered. My son was feeling a ton better and ate dinner (leftovers because everyone HATED what I did).

Per our day after Thanksgiving tradition, we set out for the perfect family Yule tree. (we are going to try a traditional Yule this year whether my older girls like it or not). I think that was the most fun I had this holiday. My husband tried being compassionate and support me through all the bullshit from both my mom and oldest daughter. I will be cooking next year and hope that I don’t let my feelings for this year cloud and happiness. I’m feeling absolutely deflated to the point I don’t even want to do Yule this year and that includes cooking. I’m going to try and stay positive and make the best out of what’s left of the weekend. We have a tree to decorate and I think I’ll bake cookies. Hope Y’all made it through or will make it through your holidays. Chin up, it’ll all be over soon and the regularly scheduled program will continue. Happy Saturday everyone!

6 thoughts on “I Survived…

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  1. Gosh, coming from a country that doesn’t do the whole Thanksgiving thing (Christmas events are more than enough on the family stress Richter scale), I’m mighty thankful!
    From my limited understanding it is supposed to be everyone being thankful?! What you have described should be renamed as ‘Guiltgiving’ Day! SHAME on your mother and the poor legacy she is not only passing on to you, but to your most ungrateful, ego-centric older daughter. You need to make a stand now and declare your own, new family traditions. Don’t be a slave to this ‘Southern’ heritage BS! Times have changed and you and your sisters, and cousins, and aunts etc don’t stay home all day caring for your men. You are equal partners (as our modern society dictates), both working outside the home to make ends meet and trying to raise kids with some balance as well. Note: Wonder Woman is a fictitious character…. figure and all! As lovingly as I can, sister blogger, stop being a doormat to everyone else’s bad, ungracious behaviour. If a proper traditional Thanksgiving dinner is so important to them, they need to participate in the preparation instead of pouting like a Kardashian.
    Peace to you my friend. You need to start being a friend to yourself. I too have learned the hard way (haven’t got it perfected yet) to distance myself from the toxic people who would only drag me down, and be firm with those you can influence…. your children, so they too learn before they get burned out. Start dancing to your own thankful, guilt-free tune. My rant (on your behalf) is over. (I’m wanting to slap some sense into your stupid mother… and I am the least violent person you’d meet).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 I needed to hear that. Teens are a different breed of animal and my mother’s ‘I’m better than you at EVERYTHING’ I have decided that this year, Yule will just be us at home. If guests want to come by that’s fine but I will not be killing myself in the kitchen but rather enjoying a book, my kids, and a few movies. Maybe even indulge in a little chocolate 🙂 Thank you so much for these words they mean a lot.💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was worried I was a bit harsh but thought you needed an independent voice of reason in amongst the guilt laden voices of family. Trust me, I hear where you are coming from. It’s now many years since my darling mum departed this earth (she was always full of good intentions), but her voice is still in my ear trying to instill guilt if I don’t do things her way. We have to be firm with ourselves to be free of it. I also have to be conscious to try to guide and communicate with my kids without using guilt manipulation. Very difficult to get through to the next lazy, selfish generation 😉. Is that what mum thought of us kids 🤔. Good luck. Stay calm and eat chocolate if that works for you. X

    Liked by 1 person

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