I decided to participate in this G2K (graciously hosted by ROE) and even though it will be a longer than usual read I think it will be good for me. Good for me? Yes, this was or still is a contributing factor to my anxiety. You’ll see what I mean.
The shaming of an Ex P.O.:
- Do you have any known enemies/frienemies?
Yes, in fact, it can reach nationwide and even overseas when the weather of circumstance is right. Why the long reach? Read on.
- How long has this feud been going on?
About a year now. And the backstabbing and venomous women still lurk with forked tongues.
- What is the reason behind this failed relationship?
The feud isn’t something I started but rather a situation of circumstance. When my husband decided to leave a motorcycle club the rules of friendship changed. I was now 86ed from everything. I don’t make the rules but it’s the nature of the beast. I supported my husband’s decision just as I did when he decided to join. The few women that said that we could continue friendships didn’t realize that it would be difficult to maintain and now join in talking about me behind my back. Worse, they’ll invite me out for coffee just to see how bad I’m doing. So now, I just don’t go to the invites and focus on my family. Before you jump to thoughts of Sons of Anarchy…it’s nothing like what you see on TV nor do I talk about what happens. That’s my rule.
- Will this mend itself with time or will it require work?
No, the relationship cannot mend itself as it isn’t our rules we are living by. I’m an outsider that cannot look in. Truth is, I don’t want to. I’ve passed on my wisdom and advice to the younger ones and hope that they too understand what true support and unconditional love means. Unfortunately, even though the brothers preached it, it wasn’t shown for my husband.
- Are you willing to put in the effort to save this relationship or just drop the feud? Why or why not?
Actually I can’t but in reality, how could I? Knowing now what they think and say about me, why would I? I went into this with my husband knowing full well what it could be like. What I didn’t expect was the browbeating, ranking system (There isn’t one with women because it’s not our club. They just didn’t seem to realize that), and a lot of two-faced situations. You never know when you’re being recorded, watched, or tattled on and I became a paranoid person. I hated going to functions, worrying about what could happen if I spoke out of turn or be ridiculed because I wore too much of a certain color. Why would I want to be around those women ever again?
I’m actually ok with the rules of being on the outs. One positive approach I see in it is that it has shown me what true friendship is. Unfortunately, it wasn’t there, not with those women. The club preached a philosophy of family and supporting one another but had no concept (even after my failed suicide attempt). Why try to be with people who don’t see it as what they speak of? Him leaving is a shame that they try to make me feel. It’s not my shame to feel and really it isn’t his either. It’s them that failed at being brothers and sisters.