My First Submission

I have been working on this for a couple of hours. I have always wanted to submit my writing to a blog for possible post publish but have always been afraid. I realized that the worse that could happen is that my work would not be chosen. I edited, deleted, cried, recalled, and smiled writing this. There are two things my father always encouraged me to do: Draw and Write. He was a writer and unfortunately, my mother trashed most if not all of his poems. A loss that I can never recover from. I hope I did him proud with this.


Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I haven’t spoken to you in a coon’s age. All the telephone numbers that once belonged to you or acquaintances with are disconnected. I’m anxious that I can’t reach you. Did you have another surgery? Did you find a new love? I have good news to share and hope this letter meets your eyes.

Miss You Always,
Your Daughter


Dear Daddy,

Mom said that the last time she heard from you was six months ago and that you called looking for me. I’m sorry she didn’t tell me that you called sooner. I think she still feels guilty for how she left you and still doesn’t want me talking to you. Little does she know that I’m trying to reach you. I left the man you vowed to kill after you witnessed the abuse he would dole out. My number isn’t listed. I’m terrified he’ll find me and your grandchildren. My new husband is brilliant and is a lot like you. He’s looking forward to meeting you and promises that he will keep us safe. I called your brother today and he told me he hasn’t heard from you either. I’ll start searching and find you so I can deliver in person the great news.

Love and miss you always,
Your Daughter


Dear Daddy,

I found your obituary online today. It can’t be true! It was small and wasn’t written with pride from a daughter for a father that warranted words fitting a king. All the information that it provided was the funeral home that handled your remains, your name, date of birth, and date of death. Nothing of your loved ones that survived you, your accomplishments, your favorite pastimes, nothing of you. Why did you disappear like that? Why did we lose touch? I know it was my abuser but I should have fought harder to have you stay living with us and your grandchildren. I knew when you held the gun to my ex-husband’s head it was to warn him not to hurt me again and I know it took great restraint for you not to pull the trigger. I wish you had taken the children and myself with you when you left our house.

I miss you,
Your Daughter


Dear Daddy,

I found you! I had to call a judge back home, the hospital that allowed this to happen, the two funeral homes that managed your remains, and the funeral commission board. I felt the strength and your pride alive in me when speaking with them. I’m going to give you the dignity of your final wishes. The only thing that the funeral home did correctly was cremating your remains but they buried you with 5 other urns in a cement box in a potter’s field. Daddy, that is not you and that is not what you deserved. You are loved beyond their knowledge. I received a copy of the letter that your friend (the one that took your money and your belongings) wrote telling the doctors that you hadn’t any family. I cried. Daddy, you have a family! Why would your friend lie? I also cashed in my 401K and will be returning to our hometown, the town you raised me to be a strong independent woman. I have booked the flight, paid the state back for cremating and burying you, paid for the exhumation of your remains, and all while being southernly polite but also informing and scolding them with Irish wit. You never wanted to be put in the ground. I have the letter you wrote a decade ago saying so. I will spread your ashes in the lake where you took me as a little girl just as you had specified. I haven’t been there in years so this will be painfully sweet. I promise to restore your wishes and dignity that you earned and deserve.

Sorry I failed you,
Your Loving Daughter


Dear Daddy,

I lost it. How horrible it was for the funeral home to leave you on the table alone in a small plastic box. For a giant of a man, they placed your remains in such a small plastic black box. PLASTIC! Seriously, plastic? You deserved a golden box to rest in until we took you to our lake. The tag that has your numbers etched on it to identify you instead of your name, I put on a black cord and have it around my neck. My badge of shame that I allowed this to happen but honor that you are my father. A man with a name and a daughter that stopped at nothing to find you. I will make this right. I picked you up and we both walked out, me with my head held high. You wouldn’t have allowed a head hanging with shame. I met with your brother, my uncle, and we stared at you. I know it was rude but it was such a surreal moment. We spoke of you and the mystery of your disappearance and death. I vowed to find this so-called friend of yours and dole out justice just as you would have done. Your brother and I made preparations for your final event. We talked to the people that run the gate at the lake and reserved the ENTIRE beach that you wanted to be your final resting place. I also learned that not only was it where you brought me as a little girl to fish, taught me to swim, and to make fires but it was also where your older brother drowned when you were such a young boy. I learned that the beach holds both tragic and beautiful sentiment for you. I also acquired your favorite alcohol that we will toast to your good name. We packed the tents, sleeping bags, food, and long johns because it’s 30°F right now and it’s going to be even more frigid on the lake.

Hurting to say Goodbye
Your Loving Daughter


Dear Daddy,
The lake is really cold. I put you on the table with candles and your own glass of whiskey. We have your favorite bands playing on the radio, pitched tents, started fires, and enjoying the time we have with each other returning to our lake. We will put you to rest in the morning but for now, we are drinking, eating, and laughing just as you had wanted.

Love and miss you,
Your Loving Daughter


Dear Daddy,

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning as we prepared to say our final goodbyes. The water is calm as if it has been waiting for you all this time. I feel calm inside, a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. We returned to your pier, our pier, and I spread your ashes as you had wished. I’m only sorry that such a precious moment of you leaving this world happened in my absence. I hope your brother welcomed you with open arms and you two returned to a time when life was joyous and less stressful. Can you see me? I hope you can see how much I love and miss you. Oh, I almost forgot! The good news! I can tell you in person now. You have a grandson! Out of 4 little granddaughters, my new husband and I have given you a grandson that resembles you when you were young. I can’t wait until he gets older and I can bring him to our lake and you can see him in person along with all your grandgirls. I hope I’ve made you proud to call me your daughter and continue to make you proud.

With Love,
Your Daughter

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