February 8th into the 9th

I started this post at 11:30 tonight as I needed time to myself to get certain thoughts and ideas out of the way or in the way. I have been reading every day and last night I finished ‘Cinder’. I want to go to the next book in the series but since my book list is extensive for me to even attempt for this year I, not possible. As I stated before that I will read the first book in the series and then make notes and move to the next on my list. When I have completed my list I will then go back and start the next in the series.

My husband set up a table in the dining area and I have my laptop, art supplies, notebooks, charging station and all that good stuff set up. I kind of feel bad that I haven’t used it much this week but it’s been rough.

Work

So for the past few months and more recently the past couple of weeks ‘Bob’ the guy that I work with has been really oppressive, entitled, and really hates the fact that I’m a female with certain knowledge that he doesn’t possess which leads to him pushing the fact that he is a man and is always right with me. I know what a brow beater is and I know what gaslighting is…I was married to it for years. I also know that I’m not his personal secretary. The straw that broke ‘my’ back was his friend, another colleague had asked me to do some artwork for him for a shirt. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he was taking my art to another company to finish his product and not with ours. I told him how much I charge an hour and to sum it up, my talent is worth the fee but I still need to do it. WTF!? I left crying from all the stress from those two men. I couldn’t enjoy being home or my kids.

The next day I went to work and waited for about two hours before approaching my managing supervisor. He listened…now whether or not I’ll be fired is still up in the air because we all know how that situation ends. The man is always right…from my experience and how many times I was let down by law enforcement seeking safety and justice from my ex. So that is to be continued as the two men have a different supervisor and so there was a meeting of the supervisors (also men) and I’m feeling pretty confident that I’m going to be ‘let go’ for some oddball reason. Back up plan you ask? Not a fucking clue. I could freelance, I could try to find another job in my field, or I could just hide in my closet.

My Goals

Even though this week has been absolutely horrid here are the things that I have completed: Finished a book, did some sketching, kept up with my short fiction stories (barely) took a shower. All of those are accomplishments no matter how small. I sketched my character out (I want to start a comic journal of sorts. I need to work on simplifying my character and sketch my puppy a character fitting to her.) and hope to include her on my blog. I also have been keeping up with my reading journal. My thoughts on Cinder: I couldn’t read it fast enough, well written, very freakin’ creative, used it as a great escape from my reality, and guessed who the main character really was. My shower was cleansing in more ways than one. I was able to cry out some bottled feelings and I almost feel like myself again. My next book is either going to be Macbeth or one of the longer ones. Something that will take me more than a week to read and more difficult. I am proud of myself for refusing to get an audiobook and a pack of cigarettes. Now if only I could lose some of this weight.

Like most things in my life…to be continued.

 

 

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