January 3rd, 2018

I’m quite please and discouraged all at the same time. How can one mind hold both emotions? Well, apparently mine can. I have been working really hard on my 6 word stories and can’t believe all the revisions and edits made to just 6 words. All the words have a hidden meaning but the story is still transparent. I’m absolutely IN LOVE with the concept. I’m even working on a larger project thanks to only 6 words. The research that I’m putting into 6 words is surprisingly A LOT but I find it worth it. As part of my research I came across a photo that gave nicknames to mental illnesses. Yes the discussion was dated by I was sickened by some of the conversation in which there really wasn’t anything positive or supportive for individuals like myself. Do you name your demons?

I have found time tonight to write a journal entry since my allotted time for my phone therapist session has been cancelled due to scheduling conflicts so I thought how great it would be to catch up my journal. Much better than wallowing in my self-loathing pity party because today was absolute shit. I never realized how clique-y my work environment is until today. How quickly someone passes a blame and me being the person I am just took it! I did however later go back and tell my supervisor what happened and in light of her now knowing in no way was it my fault the damage was done. I owned what little mistakes that I had made but made a point to tell other parties that I do not do the job of everyone else and they need to own up to their part. Then I put my earbuds in and ignored everyone else.

I haven’t started my yoga but have been eating better. I don’t like to be judge and my social anxiety is not managed at all and the journal that my therapist has asked me to keep is filling up fast. But it is helping me not bring so much home. While shopping for healthier foods I received banter from my husband. Usually we joke about these things but this time it stung a little. He knew it did without me having to tell him…good. I’m still trying to figure out the best time for me to unroll my yoga mat…preferably when he’s not home. Small victory though…there were donuts and frosted sugar cookies in the break today-I walked past them!

I was going to paint a little tonight but learned that I need to pick up a few supplies which I plan on doing tomorrow. I have plans to redesign my blog and hopefully get some social media going.  How are your News Years Resolutions going?

 

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