As I posted in my journal post I was hit with a really bad bought of depression and wasn’t motivated to do anything. I paid for the obedience classes and no matter how I felt we were going.To prepare for this class (since she didn’t like any treats from last class other than her dog food I brought) I
pan seared in Corn Oil some chicken livers. I grew up on them andthey are awesome fried but she can’t really have all the fatty southern goodness like I use to have. I tried it, it was awful but she didn’t mind it so much. I wanted her to taste test before taking it to the class. I also peeled and chopped apple chunks and mixed the liver, apple, and her dog food all in one treat bag and we were set.
We get to class, and the sassy little girl wasn’t having ANY of it. I felt so defeated and deflated which didn’t help my depression at all. Then the trainer pulled out some toys. Toys that we don’t give our baby anymore because they last 1.5 minutes (and that’s on a good day). We practiced focus, leave it, and wait/stay. She was doing good but still distracted and I couldn’t figure out why. That was until I started dripping sweat, my heart started pounding and then the shaking. What a perfect fucking time to have a panic attack. She sensed it the whole time before I even started showing and feeling symptoms. When the attack had passed all she wanted to do was comfort me. We worked for another few minutes then my husband had called it for me. She is a very smart and hard working companion. At home she did focus, down, and wait just fine.
Hopefully next class I will have it together. This was not on her fault.