July 2nd, 2017

I haven’t posted a journal entry in a while but I have been exploring the poetry side of words and it’s more therapeutic for me. I have found a profound way to express feelings of anger, remorse, shame, guilt, sadness etc…

Tonight I have to work the bar during the town’s 4th of July celebration and as usual in nervous. The loud sounds and belligerent drunks remind me of my abuser. You’ll never forget the smell of whiskey and gun powder our the sound of your life almost coming to halt. Nevermind the thoughts of your children growing up without a mother. So tonight will be difficult but my husband will be here with me to help me through the hours.

I would like to wish everyone a safe and happy 4th whether you’re out enjoying life or trying to survive the festivities like myself.

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