June 12th, 2017

Depression is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. According to this article I found:

Depression is a common problem that can occur following trauma. It involves feelings of sadness or low mood that last more than just a few days. Unlike a blue mood that comes and goes, depression is longer lasting. Depression can get in the way of daily life and make it hard to function. It can affect your eating and sleeping, how you think, and how you feel about yourself.

But for me it’s like sitting on a beach with the sun tanning your skin, a warm breeze coming off the coast, the sounds of the waves and birds singing in your ear, and being able to smell the salt and sand. Sounds great right? Now imagine relaxing on the beach towel and then dark clouds roll over the sun and the sound of the birds disappear. The breeze turns cooler but you feel like it’ll pass. The waves get louder and it starts to pour. You try to get up and wrap your towel around you but the massive wind that is now blowing across the ocean rips it from your body. You’re trying to wrap yourself in your arms for a warm comfort but the gusting wind and rain won’t allow it. You look around and your vehicle is gone and no one is around to help. You’re forced to wait this storm out. Sore from trying to keep balance, cold, and exhausted from trying to weather this storm. You curl up in the sand with the rain and wind giving no promise of relief. The thoughts running through your do not help and can range from,’Why me?’ to ‘I brought this on myself.’ Eventually, there’s a break in the storm and the sun is trying to force it’s light through to you and will momentarily win. This is a cycle that repeats itself over and over.


That is what has happened to me. I wanted to desperately to write, cook, hang out with my family. I managed to drag myself out of bed and go to work. I also washed my hair only to find large clumps dancing in the water to later tangle in the drain. I need to take better care of myself, I ponder. But crawling into bed was my trap and my only salvation. My husband managed to get me up Saturday to help make breakfast in his own roundabout way. It came in the form of a text, ‘I took out both bacon and sausage, don’t let me sleep to long. Wake me when you wake up.’ So, I did. Asking me how to make gravy, knowing my husband can’t cook, I knew what he was doing. He got me up out of bed and in the kitchen doing something I once loved. Cooking. I can’t thank of him enough for giving me the motivation to get out of bed.

 

This is for anyone that feels that they can’t go on and depression is getting the best of them. Text HOME to 741741 when you are depressed, suicidal, or just needing someone to talk to, a real Crisis Counselor will text you until you are good. Everyone doesn’t like talking on the phone. Spread the word.

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